3 days in and im already dead

no drama tomorrow

sleep for a few hrs today
well, maybe one
then the pssa was an hr

OCD killed me in science
then my teacher pissed me off

i hate that i cry when im frustrated

i also has ocd in pre calc
and text to film
so everything but math

ugggg

shower and bed i guess
w/e

its depressing when it seems like the only me time i have during the day is while im in the bathroom x_x

i get up and rush to get ready
bus
tlk to ppl in the am
school
drama
home at 10
shower
get on the computer for a few mins
goto sleep
and repeat
every day
for the next like, two weeks

uggggggggg
i<3 the pssas for one reason
because i can get done with them
then catch up on sleep
its nice
so the second i go home i dnt need to pass out
iv been home for almost two hrs
and im not all that tired

better than yesterday
i was home for like an hr then i passes out

but i had the pssas today

ummm, yea, drama drama drama [the good kind]
thats my life
and so far, there is VERY VERY VERY little to none of that bad drama

gawd, i did my laundry
im wishing i wld have done it BEFORE SCHOOL
and DURING BREAK!!

meh, w/e
im outttttttttt
*yawn*

first day of drama

so far im not dead
i dnt like the new theater
because its too small
well, where the cast sld chill is too small
the stage and seating is wonderful and huge

i was nervous
i messed up, twice
i covered up it once really good :D
and i was really quite
but stage crue was doing shit behind me
and there were ppl tlking in front of me
bah

i put crue
like motley crue
instead of crew

ummm, yea, didnt get home till 10
x_x
and idk how i didnt pass out yet

my eyes burn
x_x
i think its cuz i was just in a rush to get a shower so i cld sleep
so i eneded up getting soap in my eye
i still took like a 20 or 30 min shower
so much for hurring up

my laundry needs done
x_x

even tho we are supposed to b practicing the whole time tomorrow
o brought a note book
so that i can try and write a halfway decent song
and the heroin diaries

i hope it doesnt rain
x_x

and i have my dress shoes packed

one last note
i love that i didnt mention one thing that acctually happened during school...
lolz

2 fingers up and im out
gawd, thats soo lame
peace, im bout to die
x_x

djlgjrekga

trying to write a song
its not going to well
i have more edits than i do lines
x_x
bah, im attempting to not write one of my cliche 'emo' songs
i guess u cld say
or one about __+_+__+_+_+
bah

dnt feel like blogging...

because no body reads this
and if they do, well they are gonna get a break

till i find someone that i kno reads it

stupid waste of time

all we need is a reason...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rup9sgjB_cY

they are on the same label as escape the fate

but anyways
there goes something i worked on for a month and few weeks
just poof
let it go
w/e

and i really wanna tell someone something
and its that it sucks
that i was so willingly open with them
and that now i have to rebuild that barrier that i've been kepping strong for so long
that he managed to get me to tear down
and now that i dnt have ne one to tell
it sucks
cuz i got use to it

w/e

heres some other random stuff::
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gThcBrd60M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoRYsGZ7ApA

please hold me tightly, i dont care if i can breathe tonigh

escape the fate has a newish vid
for this war is ours
its ight
mabbit was wearin an iron maiden shirt
x_x
with the sleves cut off
he looked like a fag
what else is new?
max did some nysync sting shit
and craig jumped backward into the crowd
i wish it was off a building
to cement
or water
so hes die without a bloody mess
and no one cld find his body
:p
there were also like 2 random naked chicks
but it was stupid
cuz it was like
ohh look, we r playing a show
fuck them
i love ronnie

blah
i really dnt feel like tlking bout the most of my day
but yea
ummmm
w/e

youtube is being stupid

i was going to post the link for the video that i got this from...
"im looking for a relationship with someone who looks like a seal, i want ever feature to be the same as a seal. except for the eyes, i want the eyes of a triceratops"
haha xD

ummm yea

today i was thinking
about some one im kinda starting to get feelings for

and how im really good at loosing and drifting away from people
haha

i didnt hang out with ne one today
because SOMEONES mom was being a douche
soooo now tuesday :D
because yea, no one goes to school now-a-days

i really dnt think ne one reads this
because there were 3ppl that use to
and i kno the one doesnt cuz we were in a fight thing
and the other never comes on this, or atleast never updates
and the third really just has no reason too

haha, i wonder who does
and i wld ask
but no one gives two shits to actually do ne thing
sooooo w/e

me and my dad were arguing all day
and kept yelling at eachother
to stop doing dope
it was fun
xD

but yea
i guess imma sleep now
nighttt :)
<3

and then there's nights that never end

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_VDS9Z4XS0

hehe, backstreet boys
xD

tomorrow if maranda gets her license we are gonna go vroom vroom car ride to movies
and saturday imma hang out with dylan and maybe his friend chris
and i love that my friends have skate boards
and i REALLY like when they have an extra one
xD
haha

and, umm, yea
thats kinda my life atm

its really hot at my home
x_x

oh yea
ive been thinking
about...stuff

totally inappropriate

"what would you do if i walked up next to you,put my arms around you, and kissed you?"
its hard not to fall for people

uggg, here we go again x_x
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants
no rants

mkay, im hungry
for once
but i gotta go to the dentists
so i hope my dad gets his ass back b4 its too late
and then ill b pissed that i sld of took the t and bus x_x
meh, i might ne ways

my tooth is killing me like no other
=\
of course they had to 'fix' something
and there was nothing that needed to be fixed
=\
now it hurts
thats y i hate doctors
if it doesnt hurt, dnt fix it
well, with an exception of glasses, because u kind of need to see
but they dnt need to put drops and shit in ur eyes

uggggg
sometimes i hate life
x_x

and sometimes wen i tell ppl that then fall asleep i get the cops called on me
blah
i will never forgive and forget that completley
srry
but it still happened
and still really pissed me off
in a way
idk

w/e

drama then lazer tag tomorrow
:D

so im on my year book
and i was clicking on little links and what not, here it is actually
http://www.myyearbook.com/?mysession=bWFnX2FydGljbGVfcmVhZCZhaWQ9MzQyOTA=
and i started to read them
and pick out all of the pieces of each article relates to me, or that i wish related to me, that i agree with, or just a reminder of how much i love the thing they are tlking about *cough*anberlin*cough
idk
but now i want to write one
but idk
isnt that that kind of point of this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_DMDqJb_iQ&playnext_from=TL&videos=wfYt5VKqKrY&feature=sub
watch that
im in it twice!
once in it for real, like video
and once via a video comment
it made my day
yet was extremely awkward!

so i dnt feel like posting more
bed i guess
peace

if i had a boner would you grab it wit ur bare feet?

bahaha
i love when my friends tell me stories of off conversations they have
haha
and i love going on omgele
and hold a conversation about that
and its even funnier when u get a horny grl
that insists on sending u pics of her via e-mail
and its even funnier wen u give her an e-mail for someone u hate
xD
bahahahaha
i hope _______________ enjoys getting this horny grls pics xD

okay, well i dnt hate him
and hes gay
soooo, it will still be funny
xD

haha
ill tell him it was me
wen he brings it up..

but yea
still sick
and didnt goto drama
and i have a dentist appointment tomorrow
then grl scouts
the drama on wed
then maybe going over krystals for a few days :D
so i can buy her a birthday gift [finally!]
and then buy me my skateboard :D
hehe
i only need to pay like $5 or $10 for it too!
i love gift cards :D
gawd, they are soooooo old
lets see what i bough with them
a basket ball
a tennis racket
2 footballs
a can of tennis balls
hehe, and i still have like $20 or $30 bucks left
sooo, im buying a cheap skate board
because knowing me
it will end up like evreything else i bough
and just sit in my room the next season
lolz

yea

my lip taste like blood
and my nose hurts

and i haz stuff on my mind
goodish
yet badish
in a way
idk
but im oddly hyper
sooooo, its not THAT bad
xD
hehe
shhhh, get outta my mind!

*cough**cough**cough**sneeze**cough**cough**deep breath**cough**cough**cough**choke**cough**gag**deep breath*

welcome to my past few days
x_x

my sides hurt
my nose is stuffy
my throat hurts
my gums are sore
and some of my teeth hurt
im coughing so hard it feels like my guts are gonna fly out
im freezing cold for the most part
and all i want is to eat something
but it hurts to swallow
and i dnt have enough energy to stand and walk around to make ne thing
im shakey
and have a headache

im debating if i should go to mayhem, bamboozle, or warped
because idk what other concerts there really are
no more oz fest
and the next crue fest is going to be next year
well it might be

it seems like the bands for warped tour and mayhem are shittyier than last year
so im thinkig that bamboozle will be the best choice for me
because i like more bands from there compared to the others
idk how it goes from manson and bullet for my valentine to korn and some other band i've never heard of
well, there are a few other people, atreyu is the only worthwhile band, then five finger death punch
the rest are ass
and i wanna go to warped next year ne ways
because FIR should be there
because ronnie will be out of jail<3

and simple plan is gonna be at bamboozle, even though they are sell out peoples
i still love them

but yea
i guess thats all for now
sorry for not really updating
haha

not like any one really reads this...

give me that uh, give me that uh uh!

i cnt find a link for it
its some 13min long techno song probably made by some one that had nothing better to do

but it feels like i havent posted in ages
its only been like 2 or 3 days
but still

i guess not much is happening and life is returning to its usual pattern
aaaahhhhh

yea, ill bitch again
when something happened

most likley next week
during break
if im not dead from boredom
well, at least ill have a computer :D

--------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
--------------------------------------------------------
i want people to text again
i liked having someone that i could txt from the second we were both awake, until the second on of us fell asleep
its really nice :D

speaking of txts
i feel like telling people i love them
because i have so much bursting out of my heart because of this:::
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=5791181&blogId=530992461
like i said
if true love exists, i found a chance to win it
<3
i know i wont, because there are probably 384732847238423 people buying 5 tickets
and im gonna buy one
i hope
best $10 ill ever spend
haha
if i won, i would cry
and call people
then wen i got it
i would hang it
on my wall
and not a soul could touch it
not even me
except if i had to move it
or clean it if it was dusty
i would cherish it
and care for it better than myself
and i would just love it
and it would give me a reason to smile every time i saw it
and if i learned how to play the guitar
i would only use it once i got really really good
and i would only play ronnies songs on it
and if i was in a band
i would use it to play my first concert
and that one only
but idk
i just love ronnie radke sooooo much
and i dont think people realize the extent of it
i think every one thinks that its an "OMG! FAMOUS SEXY GUY!!!!! I LOVE U"
but its not
its more
and its odd to say that
but when i get REALLY into ['famous'] people [no sexualness involved] i just feel a strong connection to them
like, stronger than any friendship
idk
this is weird
and probably makes no sense
but its heartfelt
and every time i say that i love ronnie radke
its 100% real, and honest, and sincere :)
hence y im calm, and my mood channges every time i say it
i feel more at peace too
and if im pissed, or anything, if i say "i love ronnie radke" i get all calm and mellowed

and i an surprised at myself that i didnt write to him in jail
=\
but isk what to say
and it would be so repetitive
person after person telling him how amazing he is
and how much they cant wait for him to get out
and how kick ass falling in reverse is gonna be
and how much FIR with pwn ETF's asses
and how craig is the hugest cock lover ever
and how much of a douchey traitor max is
and how craig fucked up ETF
and how craig is trying to BE ronnie
and everything he already knows
i actually really want to send him pick of the cupcakes :D
becuase then maybe id be memorable, like gummykite, because i cant remember his real name
haha

but yea

bed time i guess..

u say ur getting close to a last chance of suicide, tearing at ur throat you wont let it die...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycnFAWKIG6c

today was cool
better than most
tomorrow will suck
gah, damn holidays x_x

my tooth gum thing is fucking killing me
and i have a shit load of h/w i gotta do before i fail
x_x

meh
w/e

my gum tooth thing still hurts
but bah

w/e
this is my post cuz im being lazyyy

so what if i never hold you, or kiss your lips again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wA8m0i67O_c

gah, i wish the rev wasnt dead
=\
he was sooooo fricking amazing
and sexi xD

at first, i hated white cheddar cheese its
now they are a new obsession of mine
gah, im gonna get soooo fat over break if u have these in the house
x_x

but over all, things r falling back into place
and maybe soon it will be back to normal
that shall be refreshing
well, for the most part at least...

gah, y r all of these songs depressing
x_x

karly is supposed to come over later todayyy :D
sooom yayz xD

i havent seen here since sometime around christmas and new years eve
haha

gg allin is an interesting, good, band xD
and im strating to grow accustomed to the misfits
some of their stuff is decent
but there is quite a lot of shitty stuff
meh

they remind me of songs like from the 60s
but with punk music and not lame music
maybe its because they are from the 70's
but i think the mid 70's
meh
80s shit pwns xD

i like punk music where they barley dnt even sing
and its more of short yells
and it sounds like they are yelling
instead of singing basically

gawd, i really want my mohawk!!!
dfjksdhfkjsdhfjkds

i'm trying to find whats missing from my life and now the tables have turned, this pain is only temporary...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JL89j2JVbps
bah
i have lots on my mind
but dnt really feel like typing
x_x

i had to type this up for my internship, so i decided to put it here too!
_________________________________________________

-Disorganization= Stress and Worry

-Loose ends= inefficiency everywhere else

-Work smarter instead of harder

-working longer decreases productivity

1. You can't manage time, you can only manage yourself.

-Once time passes it can’t go back

-How we act and react

2. Get clutter under control.

-Post disclaimer on items left behind

-“Things you don’t want or things you don’t use= clutter”

-How to get rid of clutter

-Wondering butterfly technique: Go from cluttered item to cluttered item as you feel like. Do one ‘de-cluttering’ activity/day without planning; buy make it part of your daily routine.

-Try to give, toss, or recycle one thing a day

3. Clean and organize your workspace.

-Take everything off your desk

-Shake out keyboard; Dust; Sanitize

-Short items from desk in terms of supplies, trash, reference, and project items ect…

-Place most important items closest to you

-Lesser important items go somewhere else

-decorative items go far away

4. Spend time organizing your work.

-Think about your work before doing your work

-Book: “Getting Things Done” by David Allen

- Brain dump:

-“Idea; state of mind is to have a mind like water”

-Absorb task, deal with it, but don’t let it affect your mental state.

-“Get everything thing off your mind that is on your mind”

-Have trusted collection bins- weather physical or electronic [as many as needed, but no more than you need]

-Spend a little time each day processing the collection bins [in boxes]

-If requiring 2 minutes or less do immediately.

-Action Items: Things that requiring response, need done but don’t’ have time to do right now

-think about projects in steps

-anything that requires more than one step

-Tickler File: A series of files; by month; if an item comes in that you can’t do in a short- term put in file for next month, ect…

5. If something doesn't work for you, stop doing it.

-Brain Dump: DO frequently, 5 minutes writing down everything in your head

-If it’s not on your mind, it’s probably taken care of

-If it keeps coming up, you may have missed something or may want to focus more on the specifically

6. Break projects into small steps.

-Makes bigger projects into small, manageable projects

-1- Step items

7. Do a weekly review [2-3 hours]

-Learn, grow, and change

-Look at calendar

-What did you miss?

-What’s coming up?

-Build a plan for the coming week

8. Focus on your priorities and responsibilities.

-“It’s impossible to help everyone”

-Focus on what is yours

-Learn to say no!

-Your priorities and another’s is not the same thing

9. Eliminate productivity pitfalls.

-Distractions: Letting distractions take over

-Ignore phone

-Shut office door

-Punt in ear phones

-Procrastination: “frequently caused by being overwhelmed, not knowing where to start, or not having interest”

-Break steps into small tasks

-Give yourself rewards for completing something you don’t want to do

10. A balanced life is what you say it is.

-“We put ourselves up against measuring sticks that aren’t exactly good for us”

-“Weigh your expectations vs reality”

- Getting organized= managing your expectations