19/14

i think




I was lost, now I’m found

I was sustained by the sound,
By the angels singing me to sleep,
Now my feet are leaving the ground.
Am I dead or am I dreaming instead,
A cornucopia of opiates are flooding my head.

I’m insane, that’s a start,
All it takes is a spark to ignite my bad intentions,
And to what I do best to your heart,
Don’t be fooled, I was raised by the wolves.
Now the moon takes its full, so you know I wont play by the rules.

I will never sleep!
Spill my blood for you.
You let me down,
One to many times!

Some way, somehow, we’re falling out,
Caught in-between my enemies!
No way, not now, I wont back down.
I draw the line with you and me!
You’re what I started, now disregarded,
One day they’ll see, it was always me.

Due to mistakes that I have made to this day,
I am trapped inside a dillinger,
Villains only of thinking of ways to get out of this god awful place.
I just learned that my fate is something I cannot escape so,
Sound the alarms, we were dead from the start.
It’s a never ending system,
Break me down, tear me apart.
Don’t be fooled, I was raised by the Wolves.
Now the moon takes its full, So you know I wont play by the rules.

I will never sleep!
Spill my blood for you.
You let me down,
One to many times!

Some way, somehow we’re falling out,
Caught in-between my enemies!
No way, not now, I wont back down.
I draw the line with you and me!
You’re what I started, Now disregarded,
One day they’ll see, it was always me.

This is the end of you,
This is where I draw the line.
And I will live.
This war is mine.

Spill my blood for you,
One to many times.

Some way, somehow we’re falling out,
Caught in-between my enemies!
No way, not now, I wont back down.
I draw the line with you and me!
You’re what I started, Now disregarded,
One day they’ll see, it was always me.

They’ll see, it was always me.








thehehehe
sun burn is a bitch!!!!! x_x

idfc!!!

cuz im like in the best mood ever


and its amazing
and like im txting awesome ppl

and laughing
and really getting into fir's song
and i headbanged my headphones off my head


its just like as close to perfect as things can get atm



and im afraid as soon as i leave my laptop imma b all like miserableness and mope-y

maybe ill just put u tube on repeat and sleep here tonight
:)<3

23/15

yupp
i had an energy drink
and it was yummy
and my parents might not b home saturday night
and my dad was like "its gonna b ur first night home alone"
and im like dad, im a big kid now, i think i can handle it, just make sure there is food
and sunday and monday im going to krystals
and yea
word



haha

24/16

24 more days
16 more waking up early

i was as work till like 1130 last night
it sucked

but im glad that i found out someone wasnt dead
cuz i thought he was

maranda isnt here
and wont b here tomorrow
because she dropped out and is whoring her body
yuppp


ummm, my one foot is killing me from my shoes
and im like half dead x_x

25

i feel like shit

and didint wanna come to school




but i procrastinated wlking in the door till like 830 something

dear ________________

i hope me saying "nvm imma just try to sleep i guess" kills you as much as it kills me when you don't care like you use to




ass hole
thanks.

26 more days of being a sr. and 18 more days of waking up early

yea
i let someone borrow my laptop last night
so they cld do a powerpoint


and


they
didnt
fucking
charge it



imma eat her face!!!!
grrrr

day twenty seven

i presented my mid term in media and society

it was so far away by avenged sevenfold

and once again

i almost cried

i guess i sld have watched it a few times
to prepare myslef for it





harsh bro

going on from the last day 27...

i was describing a teacher to said person as
"hes kinda a douche, but kinda cool, like an awkward tampon, ur glad hes there, but u wish hed leave"


and she said i was the chicken to her noodle

thehehe, i like wen my day keeps gettin made! :DDD

on day 27

i heard the best line in the frigging world!!!!



"it makes me uncomfortable. like wearing an awkward tampon uncomfortable"





day= made xD

i lied....27

27 days
till graduation

19 days
of waking up early

those 19 days include::
4 half days
1 lunchin
1 day of practice
then on the 20th day, graduation

this is going so fast..














a mental schedual for me::
may 30th- off
june 3th- half day and prom
june 7th- panic at the disco concert
june 8th- kennywood maybe possiably?
june 13th, 14th, and 15th- half days, and finials, which means we get to hear ALL of our teachers say "this is ur last [insert class here] finial you'll ever have to take in high school\city high EVER!"
june 16th- om nom nom and the lunch in
june 17th- graduation practice
june 18th- graduation
idk who im giving tickets to yet, but i think imma need the extra 5!
-mom
-dad
-aunt nancy
-uncle paul
-grandma
-uncle chuch
-mas
-lizzzzz! (if she can b ungrounded that day)
-krystal (maybe)
-jenn
-jenns mom (probably)
-chelly (maybe)
-nelson (although someone else probably will give him one, but still, i tld him i wld)
-greggy greg (if he comes with liz)

sooo, yea, i need to get to seeing whos all goinggggg
cuz yea, ummm, yea




silly krystal and her mom planned her 'party' on the 18th, and they think im comming, but, yea, ummm, no

day 28, idk ill double check

thing im gonna miss the most:::

-my nook
-cutin up in class

30 :)

shit
i was gonna say something
but i forgot
shit



and i just noticed my tabs arnt closing
ugggggg fuckkkk

31

tiredtired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
and going thru a withdrawtired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
of caffine
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
and taurine
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
and all that other probably deadly shit in energy drinks
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired



this man was a canvas
and you made him a master peice

31 days

i haz butterflies in my tummy
but idk y

i randomly get them
and i cant figure out why

or i can lay all the options of the table
but then not find one that makes ne sense

like isk
its weird
im weird
but i guess i didnt really need to point out the 2nd thing

but yea
i was gonna say something
but then i saw my teacher randomly wlking around

i hate when she does that x_x
like, okay, im not in the back so i can do stuff on line
i would do that no matter where i sat
im in the back because i hate when people are behind me
because i always feel like they are creeping
then i look at it as well, i dont creep on ppl infront of me
so y wld ppl behind me be creeping on me

lolz
blah



pudding





http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/160046ADBF235FF7







my boss asked me if i was staying all summer
and i said i didnt know because i was going to college
but i said that i was planning to call her during my winter break
because i know how bust they get
and i know that alot of people leave
for example, all the bussers but me
plus, i think it wld b amusing to see how many people have quit and how many new people there are withing just a few months



but yea
imma attempt to do some more work
because im running out of ideas kinda
so yea





























its weird to think well be leaving soon
it seems like we didnt start all that long ago

with 32 days still to go

i think my bladder exploded
cuz i really really really had to pee
and my teacher wldnt let me
now i have a sharp pain in my lower back/side
and not i dont have to pee

but the pain it probably just distracting me from having to pee






hurry the fuck up break!!!!




because of this school
wen i get older
i will not be able to hold me pee
and i will need a diaper

thanks shitty high!

englis32

nikki: i finished my essay! [rants bout eassay for a min or two] and i did my discussion notes for today!

me: i made a paper airplane, it doesnt fly

with only 32 days left Colleen made me realize that...

women are two damn confusing,
if i was a lesbian i wld b straight because of women like her!

-------------------------------32----------------------->

you should click that
:)
so i can get like, 4 cents
which is 4 more than i have :D

thirty two!

ummm
yea

i got nothing to say






not one thing at all






































actually i do
the nook was randomly really fun today
well, funner than normally
haha

omegle

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hello
You: im a astronaut cow boy, and they are out to kill me because i ate Jesus...will you help me kind friend?
Stranger: How did you eat Jesus?
You: it a long story, to long, but i will tell you if u help me escape them!
Stranger: Okay then
You: yay! you are a kind soul, what is you name?
Stranger: Cody
You: thats a beautiful name
Stranger: Thank you. And yours?
You: ill name my son after you!
Stranger: Why thank you
You: and im sir cowboyastronaut the third
You: and your welcome
Stranger: So how do I help you escape
You: im not quite sure, i just need to hide from the carnivorous cocksuckers!
Stranger: well, look there's a cave!
You: naw, that are too smart for that!
You: i need a place, thats, hidden more!
You: and has 3 exits!
Stranger: well there's a cloak of invisibility behind that tree
You: YES! thats perfect!
You: ill use that!!!!!
Stranger: Good idea
You: wait, i dont see it! D:
Stranger: it's between the two rocks
You: what two rocks? theres like a million of them!
You: WAIT!!!! is it next to the one that looks like an unicorn?
Stranger: yes! between that one and the one that looks like a griffin
You: ah! but, i cant go near it, im allergic to griffins D: and the cloak must now have griffin DNA on it, therefore i am allergic to it as well
Stranger: But it's a rock......
You: yes, a rock shaped like a griffin, which im allergic to
Stranger: well here, I got it and sanitized it
You: :D you are amazing my dear friend Jeff!
Stranger: I'm going to distract them while you're on your way. Until we meet again. Live long and prosper!
You: thank you ever so much! i will remember u forever Soda Pop!
You: keep it golden!
Stranger: Stay golden pony boy

33.33.33.33.33.

i cldnt get thru 30 seconds b4 i started laughing xD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPmeneYoVZQ&NR=1&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1&safe=active

damn class



this is mainly a reminder for me to watch it at home!

33

i think i have officially listened to this song
and watch this video too many times





it just gets more depressing each time
i mean, yea i started tearing up the first time i saw it
and when i heard the song of the cd, i got kinda sad once i realized it was about the rev

i still remember when i found out
thank u twitter
it seems like every break someone bad happens that makes me sad each break
and by that i mean, 2 breaks

11th grades winter break, i was on twitter
and i found out
and i cried
and i txted someone and asked him if he knew
then we talked bout it

then this break i found out brokencyde jumped 2 ppl in local bands
and that nasty left falling in reverse

see, sadness









but yea, im going to listen and watch this one more time before i get side tracted again and almost get all teary and shit

sometimes depressing stuff is the best stuff

it's a kiss you can't forget

like a wedding on a rainy day








<3MotleyCrue<3




btw this is day 33 still!

33 more days!

haha
so i spent exactly $200.02 on my debit card yesterday
PLUS about $40 in cash
PLUS about another $40 on food


what i bought! :D
-equalizer powder
-expensive fucking liquid foundation that was not cheap despite the fact i said 'relatively cheap!'
-cheapish powder foundation
-more primer
-black eye shadow
-white eye shadow
-new skull candies, that were like, cheap :D
-like 4 or 5 pins, that are awesome, and i put them on my hat, and imma wear it on thursday, but i might not b able to use my new headphones if i do :(
-3 gauges, 1 glass see through ones that i can put hoop earings through! penguin ones, and mood ones :D but i cnt wear the glass or mood ones because they are flares and they kinda like, hurt wen i try to shove them in (thats wat she said) so i gotta wait a few more days
-awesomely cute shoes for prom!
-food
-snacks and shit
AND
CHARLIE FUCKING SHEEN BRACELETS!!!!

hehe
im pretty sure thats all
ummm
yea


and im getting my new phone on wed or friday
so if its in on wed...im hoping maranda will love me enough to take me to get it, cuz my parents dont D:
haha

AND
im getting it at like the perfect time
because my phone was charging wen i went to sleep
then it was just like. oh, fuck u and i woke up and it said haha, i have a low battery bitch!
so i charged it for like a half hr
then i got on the bus and it was like
haha, fuck u again, i have a low battery
so i turned it off
and yea
i was like, tripping in my nook
cuz im a compulsize time checker

maybe i sld invest in a watch instead of make-up
haha


but i promised myself no more shopping rants till after my graduation party
its gonna be hard
cuz i got a few weeks between graduation and my party
and i got 33 more days b4 graduation
sooooooooo
i got 41 or 42 more days before i can go on a shopping rant
my limit is $50 for future shopping times

haha
but i better do some work, then ill come back


LATER SKATER!!!!

yes, 34 more days untill graduation

bang
boom
pow


i was right!














so i was showing my dad a song that mentions cadillacs
it was undead by hollywood undead
whats my dad's reaction?
"is this the bestie boys?"
yes dad, yes it is

34 i think...

google was down friday
and i worked

and i worked saturday
and was at my little cuzins confirmation party sunday

i didnt even go on my laptop untill like 12 yesterday
soooo, yea


imma double check the day, and get back to u :)

idr wat day it is

i hate google

(38)fact

this new book is boring
hence y i fell asleep on pg 4 instead of pg 20 something


this book it actually better tho

with only 38 days left, i would like to dedicate this song to so many people

I know a girl who’s obsessed with a guy
She talks for hours and still tomorrow
She’ll call again and when he thinks that this could be the end,
She calls again

At six in the morning she waits at the door
He tells her to leave now but still tomorrow she’ll be there again
She won't let go

Can’t you just go somewhere on vacation?
I could book your flight
And pack your bags if you want
A one way ticket out of my life
Watching you fly away
I never liked you

She doesn’t care if he tries to ignore
He runs away but still she follows
she'll try again

She likes to think she’ll get him in the end
Yeah


Can’t you just go somewhere on vacation?
I could book your flight
And pack your bags
If you want
A one way ticket out of my life
Watching you fly away
I never liked you
I never wanted you
I never liked you
I never wanted you, whoa


Can’t you just go somewhere on vacation?
I could book your flight
And pack your bags
If you want
A one way ticket out of my life
Watching you fly away
I never liked you
I never wanted you
I never liked you
I’m not in love with you!

:o--<8=======D~ >-8-O:

38 bitches!

gawd
i hate all these people
maranda
amber
shane
jj

so y am i hanging out with them?
jkjk

i loves them :DDDDDD

i just want to see peoples reactions wen they read this
and by people i mean maranda

haha xD























any who
i have mead blister things on my baby toes
and my converse irritate them!
grrrr


meow

39

i NEEEEEED to go up to every one with a taper in their ear, and ask if its a 4!!!!1


arg
this is so worse than child birth!

day 30, and maranda, and colleen

day 30::::
my nook was odd today
damn capa kids

liz gave me gagues, size 2
i was a 8 or 6 or 4
but im pretty sure 6
and i was putting it in and was like ouch ouch owey fuck shit ouch this hurts
and michelle just is like "WOOOOOOSH!!!"
and shoved that bitch in my ear
ouch
it reallly realllll reaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllly fucking hurt!!!!!
and now its getting better
i think i need her to do my other one
cuz im a sissy wissy! lolz



marand:
and didnt need one
because it was technically day 39
but i didnt go to sleep yet
so i cld have put the 40
but i was indecisive
and it was just kinda bam!
lolz


colleen::
now i have no one to e-mail now that ur in DC
DUMB BITCH!!!!!!

thank you for the break down

you will foREVer remain in my heart<3

fourty

i can go left on skatboards now



and yet again i want one
lolz



ummmmm, yea
ahhh




theres someone i wanna talk to bout something

gawd, its still 40

but yea



sometimes i wish i could just die
and be reborn in a different time period
a time period where i want to be
with better aweseome
different people
different opinions
just different everything

but hell, don't we all?

40 40 40 40 40 40 40

so bored
and as i told colleen

i feel like im going to barf up some weird mixture of cornstarch, alcohol, salt and pepper thats been coagulating in my stomach x_x


yay for awkward descriptiveness, lol

day 40 is also 1/2

because it is 5/10
and if u simplify that its 1/2

maranda is a bitch (40)

yea
thats wat i said



bitch




whore





pineapple!

40 more days.....AND

i just had sex
and it felt so good
a women let me put my penis inside of her

rotfl
thehehehe



i fell in love with madina lake
they are like in my list of a band of all sexy guys
and prettiest voice

and i was like, this name seems familiar
so i looked up who was comming to warped tour
and they were :DDDD

then i looked at the dates
and they arnt comming to pgh

im trading:::::
blood on the dance floor for family force five
black veil brides for hellogoodbye
drugs for madina lake

muhahahahaha
that list wld b sooo much better
trading lame bands for ones i like :D

tehehehe















and maranda is late
damn bitch crackah ass
fucknugget
douch canoe
dick waggon
fuck-tard
cum guzzler



















oh yea
im pregnant btw
and ur the daddy! :D

41 still

you love me but you don't know who i am
im torn between this life i lead and where i stand

lolz
lyrics in my head


not thoughs
suprisingly
i kinda like passes out last night
so i thought id be like, always having something on my mind


btw, someone needs to remind me i have an energy drink in my bag for lunch
and amber has my jacket!!! :DD










and for some reason i think my e-mail i being blocked
i mean, not just cuz maranda normally replies in like 2mins or less
and not cuz i can see the one persons screen who im e-mailing
and he clearly had e-mail up like 2 times and i dnt gots nething (im a creep fo sho!)
lolz

i love my logic :)

day 41

soooooooooooooo
today
my mom told me that i couldnt take the trolley
because they were all broken down

so i took a bus
i left at 6:56
the bus was supposed to come at the stop before mine at 7:03
and the one after at 7:11
so me and tatum were there
she was waiting longer than me
our next bus came at like 7:20 or so

so it turns out the first one broke down

then we were suck in traffic for like EVER
and then kind of walked slooooowly

and now im here
over an hour since i left my house

and im blogging about it
so althought i didnt burn my energy in my nook
i got to walk and talk for like, an hour
lolz


i also procrastinated for like 10mins in the hall
bahahaha

alrighty
its like nap time

kinda

43&42

so many words are left unspoken...



















i figured since i made that my status on a few things, i should just post it for my day today

ouchie 44

my fingys hurt
so im adding to the pain by typing this
well kinda
im not using the ouchie fingers


but i mainly wanted to say im not gonna bite my nails for a while
and imma see how long i can grow them b4 i wanna kill myself for doing that


but, i desperatley need a nail filer
cuz they arnt growing evenly..


lolz

day 44

i still much rather be sitting an a normal school
wearing people clothes
txting people
during class
and not having to do shit
and still pass

but no
im still stuck here
which i guess itsnt horridly bad

44

i really dont feel like doing work
uggg
this class is so ugggg
uggg


heres what i did this class::::

virgiously looked for stuff on sparknotes and like sites for my book
found out they didnt exist
did my book discussion notes for english
did my self assesment
told taylor that i love the fact she noted that it took the guy a page to tell us he was taking a shit
turned in all my notes for social studies
finished my discussion notes
discovered that camera can't lie isnt a local band
found that incubus sings a song called drive
virgiously refersehed my e-mail
realized the members of camera can't lie are pretty ugly
emailed someone and told them to get off e-mail and do their work
stared this
saw my teacher was comming back so i went on edline and got the notes
came back here
and now im bout to check my e-mail and start my reading notes

all in all
today was a productive day



and i love my nook
and all the random people and weirdness it brings
:)


the end! :D

45 pt 2

i just wanna run in an open field and scream



buy while typing that i changed my mind






but maranda and collen should make tatum take maranda to snowball! xD

45 more days :)

kinda had a deepish convo with a teacher
and it made me realize that as much as i hate this place
i will miss it
i will miss the teachers
the people
the standing in front of school b4 it starts
and yea
but still
idk

i want to get out of here
yet i never want to leave


ill still come down twn every once in a while
and say hi to my capa friends and city high peoples
and then ill go home
and go back to sleep
haha


but yes, only
45 more days until im no longer a high schooler
45 more days until i graduate
45 more days until i never have to wear these dumb ass dress clothes every damn day
53 to 60 more days till i quit my job
then like almost 2 full months to shove as much fun into as possible
then off to college

but i guess there is not point of my saying this
cuz you already know
sooooo...



i think (if possible) i will come back for snowball next year, for colleen








p.s.
i will not miss these damn ballsy freshmen
haha

*sucking teeth* dnt just cut me off like that
fuck u, im a senior

haha, that shut her up :p

46

home come the class i need to do the most work in
is also that class i can get away with nething in


damn incontinent school








ill just keep my thoughts to myself then..
lol

day 47, again

i really have to pee
and although i feel like writing
im soooo done with this essay
and im too stuborn to pee
lolz, that sounded funny
but by that i meant
im too lazy to ask
































meow




and im done with the intro
and 1 paragraph
so its a beyond apporpiate time to take a break



also, i think marandas bullshitting skills are rubbing off on me
i just made a whole paragraph about the french people
lolz, off topic, kinda
but it fits xD





dear maranda,
thank u for rubbing ur bullshitting skills off on me. how bout sparing a few braincells :p jkjk

i need A-fucking-LOT to help me out


sincerly
holli

day 47

i wanna do shit
i wanna like customize my laptop
and personalize it
with sticky notes
and random firefox apps
but whats the point
its just gonna get cloned in like 40some days
47 days
counting weekends
i only did that because thats how long imma have my laptop
and because idc enough to remember all the days we have off
and are like a half day


so yea
47 days
imma post a blog every day
or atleast try to
maybe not weekends
and they are gonna b titled with a countdown

its like that pic of the day
or like 30 day challenge
but with words
because they are better than pictures

im back on my

thinking im schizophrenic thing again
i think imma actually gonna like get a ct scan or w.e


blah
and according to someone, my dopimean is like jacked up
which makes sense
cuz the funnest days
always bring the shittiest nights



blah
life is hard
haha