i feel like shit


still
blah
i fell like this too much
and i wanna rant
but done want to type it
nor do i feel like typing

i just want someone to like, look at me and know exactly what i want to say
and just accept it
idk

im weird

so much i want to say
yet i dont want to say a damn thing


blah
thats all


i mean
im fucked on this essay
and even tho i keep saying i wish i was at home, i really dont
i mean

i wish i had a job
and a place of my own
and maybe a car
but back in pittsburgh

i belong here
or at least in a city
im supposed to be in a city
and around people
and in the middle of heticness
thats just who i am
and my personality

i mean, yes, i like to get away every once in a while to the middle of no where
but it sucks
especially around a college
cuz theres no fucking jobs
and i got really pissed when u said there were
like gtfo, no there arnt ass wads


blah
im rethinking next year already...



but i guess imma txt a few ppl then call it a night
so night

of all the mass comm classes i missed...

which actually isnt as many as i just made it seem
i sld have skipped today
idc about the world around me
i think protests are stupid
and i FUCKING hate politics

this is stupid and pointless and i cant follow or pay attention to it
x_x



arg, i should have stayed in bed
blah blah blah blah
and im sick

this sucks
arg
im in a bad mood








what we are going over in class is pointless and useless to me and going in one ear and other the other x_x





























i want soup!

my fucked-upededness is only getting worse...

and fucked-upededness may not seem like a word
but if you pronounce it, itll make sense

fucked-uped-ed-ness

so its fucked uped
like u fucked something up
which might just be fucked up
but i like my way better

then add and 'ed' cuz is plural

then "ness" because its a way of being
or state of being
i think thats what ness means

so yea



words

the more room mates come home, the louder my music gets

i like this system :)

i wrote a blog about someone


then deleted it







in case anyone randomly cares

and im slipping again
i got out of that 'social and sleep' corner of the 'college' triangle for a bit
but im right the fuck back there

arg, and im really trying
kinda
i mean, i just slack on the readings
and dont go to all my classes
but most of them its kay that i miss
like optional ones that are 'for our benifit'
or ones where the teacher doesnt take attendence, he wrote the book, and all he does in class is go over the powerpoints
or when other people are giving a speech
those are okay to miss, right?

idk
i think tomorrow is going to be me taking a personal day
because i mean, i already told people to not contact me between 8-9 for surivivor
and fuck, i keep thinking tomorrow it thursday
which technicially it is
but its not because my day starts when i wake up


and i hate waking up late
especially on tuesdays and thursdays
because my room mate is in the shower between 930-1030
and i got class at 11
and i normally wake up right at 930 when i miss my first class, because thats when it is

and i just feel like the judge me
because i come in between 2am and 7am on weekdays
and i have people over....alot
weather its just for a few mins
or for a night or so
and because i dont goto some of my classes, which i explained
and because i dont wake up till like 1pm-5pm on weekends
idk
i really want a single
or people more like me

i fell so disconneceted to them, its like living with strangers

idk
i just got alot on my mind
some of which i cant say here, because well, its the internet
and some that i dont want to say here, once again, because its the internet
and everyone that has access to the internet and a device to get on the internet can read this

and i really think that the thought should freak me out alot more than it should
i mean, yea, idk
i think of the obvious things i want to say but cant
and the people that will read them and why i cant say them
i dont want to rant about people, good or bad, because they might stumble upon this
thats why i almost never mention names
unless its u know, maranada or colleen, because they read this
well, i guess you read this

i mean, i know i do
but im not gonna sit here and bitch bout people
i dont want to bitch bout people now
talk about them, but just to clear my head, you know?

i mean, idk, im weird
and i was going to say that you cant really be close to someone unless you can rant bout them
but that makes no sense
idk

i mean, theres no such thing as perfect...









































i wanted that to end my post
but i want to say a bit more
so im hoping this semi- awkward space helped leave the wanted effect, even if it was just for a moment

anyways
im going to have myself a brain dump
and call it a night

because i needed to share my brain dump idea, haha



word.

i want to blog


but i dont have anything to say



so i guess thats all, haha

sean

you actually go on this still!?




you just made my day ^_^

i love that everyone is excited for 11/11/11, but has any one ever noticed that 1+1+1+1+1+1= 6, and we all know that 666 is the devils number, so seeing as how there is going to be two 11:11:11 on 11/11/11 that means that there are going to be two 6's on 6 leading to 666, therefore the world is ending tomorrow at 11:11:11pm :D

your bubble is officially burst...

things will shortly get completely out of hand

i really like this song
oddly enough
it was playing during a skit on robot chicken
haha

and i liked one of the lines
and looked it up
and im like addicted to it


i picked this vid because::
i have 1 of the magic cards for sure
and remember seeing 6 other ones of them
but idk if i have them or just remember seeing them

and i was playing d&d for 8hrs right before i heard it
so i thought it was ironic as hell!


and because this one had all the lyrics
and was already right there

haha


and im staying up for 2 more hrs
getting a shower
getting breakfast
them gonna try not to pass out before my class

then goto my 930 and 11
then more than likley pass out before my womens studies
haha



and i jacked a wad or caution/do not enter tape
it was just sitting there
so i took it
then un waded it
and unfolded
and un knoted it
and now its all neat
and im putting it ovet my door
tomorrow
well, later



ummm
i want to type
and i kinda want to keep typing
but its making me tired typing
so maybe later, lolz

soooo
i saw simple plan
AND
falling in reverse today!
on internet live web cammy thingys

awesome

then i made new friends
haha
that ill probably never see, haha
i do that alot
lolz


drama meeting tomorrow
at 5
and my firefox is like, a spazz
so i might have to like
uninstall it
then reinstall it

idk

jacky has a sexy accent
so fucking sexy
its like a ball of sex in a voice
i think thats now i described it

and ronnie was a nerd back in the day
haha

jacky is also the youngest in the band

and derek used to be a jock
lolz

and more shit
haha
but i loves them xDDD


and im going to sleep soon cuz iz sleepy




today was a randomly amazing day xD
haha
i like days like today
i dont od with one or the same people all day
and i got alone time
and work done
good day
i went to all but that class i never goto
haha
but yea
lolz



so i guess good night?
haha


im ending it with anvil
which i wanted to see since i saw it advertised


haha
and idk how i managed to get back at like 1230
wen i left at 9
idk
time flys when ur having fun i guess xDDD

haha



any who
night
for real this time



zzzzz
zzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz



if only motley crue was on tonight
and if i saw the whole ting

oh well
haha



okay
fo real fo real
night :DDD<3

classic rock channel
i picked the best day to look up something to watch :DDDDDDD<3
hehe
iz so happy

and now im keeping my tv on channel 29, mtv classic rock or metal channel
hehe
instead of cartoon network :p xDDD




so happy xD hehe
good night world! :D<3

Classic in Concert Motley Crue: Carnival of Sins

classic rock channel
i picked the best day to look up something to watch :DDDDDDD<3
hehe
iz so happy

and now im keeping my tv on channel 29, mtv classic rock or metal channel
hehe
instead of cartoon network :p xDDD




so happy xD hehe
good night world! :D<3

the eaisest thing for me to understand

was when u said "music to u is what video games are to me"

but heres the reason why thats the stupidest thing ive heard

video games are make believe
music is real
something you can relate to
a form of expression
and so much more

now maybe its just because im not addicted to games like you
but i dont see how music to me can be video games to you
other than the simple fact they are both addiction
and love affairs

but i challenge you to be inspired by a video game the way music can inspire people

music has saved lives
have any video games?

i could go on for hours about this
but i really need sleep
my bodys just not allowing me to
yet again
like all the fucking time

but yea, id much rather be jumping around and screaming at a concert, getting elbowed in the ribs, having people flying over me, and sweating my ass off trying to get some clean air and trying to touch someone i adore than sitting my lazy ass on a couch for hours alone staring at a screen

id also like to point out...

that this week
iv kinda been ignoring someone kinda really clingy

and thats lead to me actually hanging out with people
sure, they are the same ppl for the most part
but its just fun
because we actually do shit

thats not just sit in one of our dorms
and do nothing
or have the other person show me stupid shit idc about
that have him say something and really piss me the fuck off


any who
yea
iv been hanging out with people in my building more
haha
and im pretty sure ive been around ppl i just met like 3 days ago more than my room mates, bahahaha


i like the loud rambunctious immature people
not the quite squeaky pg ones x_x


dead baby jokes> a joke with the punchline "boo-bees"
line fights>life
penis game at 4am>squeaking over glee
hours for sane people 2-4am>insane people ours 9am-11pm

i also find it funny how im in the dorm all day
and not at night till later
and they are all gone during the day and get back around 7 or 8
i think the latest iv seen one of them back was like 10
i was legit scared that day
cuz it was like 930 and i was the only one here
i thought my 1 room mate died

cuz 1s never here
and the other one randomly goes home and works
it was like
should i be concerned for her safty scary
but i decided to blast dupstep

oh!
thats another
dubstep and screamo>adel
she does have some good stuff
like
she had some ska
idr who, but i got excited
and regina specktor and i fine frenzy and anna nackil, and i murdered her name, but i can only handel shit like that in small doses, haha


and now im commencing sleep mode

a new idea arises, a boys will is the winds will, a strong breeze can please the weakest of knees :)♥

i love cali ac
and the i drive
and punchline
and have been listening to the same 27songs by them for the past...oh...6 hours
haha
i was sleeping for a few of those hours, but thats not the point
i think there is a the composure song or two in there

if i ever start a band i will kill anyone that wants to put a "the" in front of it
u know how awkward it is to say "im going to a the composure show" or "i love the band the i drive" or "dude! so-in-so is wearing a the lonely island shirt!"
its awkward
so is "i was just at the the killers concert"

but i mean
a lot of bands just kinda drop the the
or people just dont say it
like offspring
i dont say this song is by the offspring
maybe i do that out of hatered for the
mighty might bosstoned
distillers
foo fighters
killers
velvet underground
idk
im werid
beach boys
beatles
jackson 5
police
i love that i randomly travled back in time
i think i say the clash
and the academy is needs the the, so they are an exception
haha

i also say i drive
i think
maybe
idk


any who
i was going to rant bout class
but then i stoped caring
so heres my fb post
all scheduled for classes, i had it so id have 3 classes on mondays and weds and 1 all the other days, but then i couldnt do that cuz i need a different english class for one of those classes, so now i have 2 every day except friday where i only have one...eh, not bad but not wat i wanted x_x back to sleep :D


and yea
blah
im back over him again
i think
and that shouldnt change
unless im forced to be around him for a while again
which sldnt happen
i mean, hes out of my 2nd room, but still in my building, lolz

im tired of saying bitches names
so i call it my 2nd room now
haha
and by now i mean in this post
and ill probably forget in like......when i wake up































pudding



oh yea, icp is a religious band
and they lost alot of fans when they came out and said that
somehow i dont believe them
but i kinda see it
listen to the unraveling, or unreaviling
or just type in "icp un" and click on the closest thing to that name
because its sooo much easier for me to tell u this instead of put a link
im weird
dnt hate





























meow

so i realized today that im not over him


which is weird
normally i can get over people when i realize they arnt interested
or that its not going to work


idk, maybe its because he kept telling me that everything wld b fine
idk

i hate people

and i hate that for some damn fucking reason i cant get over his damn ass
it might also be because of the people im always with just fucking sit there and bad mouth him

blah
idk


































i experienced a cliche movie moment, or something like that
i was laying there trying to clear my mind
and trying to get him off it
and trying to point out all the negatives
and for some godamn reason, i couldnt point out one, despite the fact i know there are so many
i refuse to believe what i know is the truth

then i had a mini freak out which just consisted of me realizing that he was perfect





































uggg, why is college making me a stupid normal girl
i hate it
go away x_x

i was fine
then my mood went dwn
then came back up
then was bitchyish
then down
and down
and really down
then alllll the way up
now down again


blah, i hate people and need sleep, well not need, want, and desever, blah