to make my point in argument

stfu
because there are 2 things i know that i know how to do
kill people
and kill myself

not saying i will
but im not retarded
and it's really not complex
so why dnt u stfu or i will demonstrate it on you
--------------------------------------------------
i hate people that argue with my knowledge
i know what i know, and you dont
so dnt tell me i dnt know shit when i do

wet eyes
tears are running down your face
shivering
alone and cold
curled up, bloody
in a corner
you keep repeating questions in your head
why, how, where
"can't any one save me, help me?"
your lost and if you weren't in you own home,
you couldn't find your way home
clocking back your tears, hoping no one hears
trying not to let your gasps of breath be too loud
------------------------------------------
i get distracted from work
then do it
then talk
so blah!

a post on how i feel...

would you even care if i died bleeding?

would it be wrong, would it be right, if i tool my life tonight?
what if i died tomorrow? would you miss me here?
what if i cried tomorrow? would you shed a tear?
why does she give a damn about me?
do you memorize theatrical lines?
Do you still feel it,calling in the air tonight?

[ill be posting more questions from songs laterish]

your hair, it's everywhere. screaming infidelities, taking it's wear

it's one of those days
where i am faced with pain
=\
weather mental or physical i wonder how many pills i have to consume for it to dissipate
damn fingers
damn stomach
damn ankle
damn foot
damn thoughts
damn music
damn stressfulness
damn me for being weak
damn me for not ignoring this bull
x_x

i sleep with a bottle of Tylenol next to my bed
i take it when my fingers hurt
i take it when my ankle hurts
i take it when my head hurts
i take it when i can't sleep
i really need a better alternative

we are wounded, but we ar healing

blah
thats how im feeling
and im listening to rise against
and dwn loading music
soooo, yea
that about it
ummm

i walk on wounds the self improve

i love rise against
<3

but soon, they will be sell outs
and ill find some one new

that y im not wasting my time learing every little thing about them like i did with simple plan
and columbine

i decided to stop obsessing about that stuff
idk y
well, maybe
i think it will make my life simpler, less complex

ya kno?

did you send jesus?

lmoa
i effin love friday night cranks
xD
<3
<3 <3
<3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3
<3 <3
<3

hehe
xD
win!!!
--------------------------------------------------
lets learn myspace lingo kids!

1) can i take a bite out of your taco= can i have your number?
2) the moose has left the building= where do you live?
3) hickory dickory dock the chief wears the smock the clock struck one we all had fun hickory dickory dock= do you want to cyber
4) you ate my enchilada= i am going to kill you

if this was health class i'd be talking about penises!!!

lmfao
i love being and advisory assistant
xD
ms. musto rocks
xD
haha

and....ummmmm
yea
haha
xD

i was wearing a slut!

haha
fun times in cult lit!!!!
=D

and my school is fucking sucking ass balls
because
they
blocked
yahoo

mother
fucker

ZACH!!!!!! ZACH!!!!! ZACH!!!!!!! ZACH!!!!! ZACH!!!!! ZACH!!!!!! ZACH!!!!

OMG!!!!!
guess wat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i
am
gonna
rick
roll
ms.
moye!
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

i put the link for http://smouch.net/lol/ where once of my pages should go!!
muahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
ahaha
she clicked it
and it was funny
and she started laughing and trying to click it out
xD
and then gave up
and kept letting it play
and like everyone broke out in song!!!!!!!
then quit
and closed her computer
then openeded it later in the class
and it was still playing
xD

I will not bow

i kno how breaking benjamen got their name.
the lead singers name is ben
and on open mic night he broke a mic
haha

but onto the reason im posting this
for some odd reason earlier today i though
"i wanna b with an ass hole"
and i really dnt kno y i had the urge to be with an ass hole
it makes me wonder wat that means...
------------------------------------------------------
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
thats actually from a few days ago

but i was just looking on my facebook
at people pics
some one who i haven't seen since like 4th grade
and some one who i knew from kindergarten or first grade till 8th
it wow, how much they changed
it really is weird
but the part that makes me think is how those people that iv'e known for, god knows how long, are just out of my life
and how they kinda seemed like siblings because i grew up with them
same people
same days
same classes
same years
and why do i remember posting this all before...?

i actually think i did

i'll swim the ocean for you <3

i think i'm going to start making all of my posts have the title of the song im listening to
haha
that's it

in my attempts of sleeping...

[like always]
i was thinking
about normal stuff i guess
and how it seems life is just flying right by
and how 'scared' i am to grow up
now im not sure if the sounds weird, or normal
but i am

and im not sure if it's the responsibility
or if im just afraid of loosing people
cuz i have
i mean, just the transition from grade school to high school, i lost all those people
and it's weird now that i look back on it
those people were like family
i mean, i grew up with most of them
from kindergarden to 8th grade
[ignoring the fact i hated most of them]
and it scares me to see how much i changed in 2 years
i mean, even at the end of freshmen year how different i was
idk, its just weird
it's like loosing family to me
its weird, but wen u spend +11430 hours with some one, its kinda hard to loose them, no matter how much you wanted to kill them every waking minute

idk, i think im just afraid to loose more people wen i graduate high school
which brings me back to the idea i started freshmen year with
"don't meet people, don't build relationships"
but look wat i did
first day of school that idea was out the fucking window
x_x
but it really turned out to be good..
or at least, i think so
if i say it's a bad thing that kinda makes me feel like i im saying that i regret meetting my friends, which i dnt, but i really wonder what life wld be like if i had stayed on my idea
or if i would have wen't to carmelt
or brasher


this is why i either have to be tired when i go to sleep
or have some one to talk to
x_x
i hate thinking at night
this is usually where it ends

sponge bob square pants!

just came on the TV

now befor i go on a little rantish thingy thing
go here
http://muffinsawesome.blogspot.com/
it's my 'contest' blog!!!!
haha
so go there
and subscribe
and answer!!
lolz

now::
didnt go to drama on wed.
then stayed home on thrusday
and missed college tours
so, nothing interesting was missed
BUT today [friday] i didn't go to school either
which kinda sucks
cuz i HATE having to make up work
x_x
and this is the FIRST time EVER i missed two days in a row!!!
with an exception of when i went on vacation in 6th grade
but i had my work ahead of time
grrrrrr
but i actually feel A LOT better
and can eat food today!
yay!
haha
and tomorrow im gonna go to the movies with JJ and Maranda
and i have just now decided that we need a name
like a group name
an EPIC one
because if trevor was with us, wed b team star
and that just occurred to me
the rest of team star is gonna be taking the PSSA's with out me
D=
but, blah, i wldnt pass it
haha
sooo yea
me jj and maranda are going to the movies
to watch
toy story 1&2 in 3D
AND
capitalism: a love story
which means tonight im gonna watch bowling for columbine
xD
because i love that movie
or maybe ill just listen to columbine...hmmmm
im liking that book
xD
THEN!
on next saturday
im supposed to go to my one friends house
but im probably not
because she is spening all her money this weekend
and im gonna go to station scare with cool people
=D
soooo
the friday b4 im going to the penitentiary!!!!
=D
then station scare!
=D
i think im gonna try and go to hundred acre manor on sundayy
cuz that world be so effin EPIC!
like
BEST FREAKING WEEKEND EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha
but, thats not gonna work, unless i can get like $30 from my parents haha
well
im out
peace!

THE WINNER FOR THE FISH CONTEST!!!!!!!

thank you to the full 4 people that entered!
haha

BUT!
THE
WINNING
NAME
IS!!!!!!!!!!
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
Sir Heavy Metal Nut Kicking Death Puncher the XLII

so w00tness to 'the nameless one'
whose name is Sean
xD

your prize is...

a condom covered penis with arms, and a mouth, and eyes, with oddly large, oragne balls trophy!
and a dollar!
that you will get the next time i see you, if i have a dollar then




i have now also decided that im going to have a new random contest every week, but in a different blog thing thing
so here is the link
http://muffinsawesome.blogspot.com/
go follow that!
=D

and yea!

my pet fish contest [there is a prize!!!] <3

this is my pet fishy
he does not have a name
but who ever comes up with the best/collest name for HIM will win a prize

HERE ARE THE RULES:::
1. you can make up as many names as you want
2. they have to be a name for a guy
3.each name HAS to be in a different comment, if there are multiple tries in one comment those names WILL NOT BE COUNTED
4. have fun and be creative!

i can't speak anymore

not only do i adore that song [by:: The I Drive]
that's kinda really how i have been feeling
in a way
like, i can always speak
and, i don't know, it's really had to explain
it's how i feel i would be if i was around certain people
but that still really didn't make any sense
so i really don't know what im trying to explain this mess of a life

sorry i couldn't find a better version
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
moral:::
yes, i fall for people way to easily
and set out to get hurt
i like meeting new people because i get bored with seeing the same people, some times
but i have a tendency to fall for some of the said new people i meet
and it's stupid
i know it is
and im sure as hell you can't disagree
fml
x_x

where will i be in 30 years?

Bury your head

our eyes meet for the first time from across the room
i look into ur soul and see something much deeper than ur appearance
i see u
the real u
i see everything
all ur pain
i feel it
and a tear falls from my eye
i regain conscientiousness and go back to doing my work

later i see u at the bus stop
once again our eyes meet
but from across the road this time
and now i see sadness
i see u crying
or at least i think i can
but then i jump back to reality and ur laughing
how can this be i say
the next day ur not in class
or the bus stop
nothing abnormal i think
but then the next day and the next and the next
u weren't there
the days turned into weeks
which turned into three months
figuring u just transferred i ask some one where u went to school
they turn and walk way
thinking they were pissed at me i asked some one else
but the bell rang and they ran to their next class saying text me later
so i did
and what i found out was so horrifying
i cried
how could this happen
the one and only person i seem to connect to...

why...

i thought that u could be the one...

what was i thinking
just one person, just one day..

but i was happy for those short moments no matter how much pain it brought me.
i loved u.
and i hope u can hear that!
now please, just give me a sign that ur listening,
that u love me.
anything....

please....

guess hes no...(speaker drops to floor and dies)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
i was thinking of some one
and this popped in my head
and i really don't know how they are related at all,
well,
maybe a little
but, nah
haha
im happy i have live journal on my phone
<3

over time

i've learned to deal with things
normal things like

loosing people
being called names
being hit
being tormented
and so on

but what i can't seem o understand is how after going through all of that,
after having felt like a worthless piece of shit,
and after how my life has turned around,

i don't understand how when my life starts to get better
mt world starts crashing down

my baby <3

http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/ele/1400129944.html

i miss it soooooo much
and that is the only one a saw in the past year or so
they dnt even sell it any more in stores
=\

its not funny how badly i want it
but of course
my dad wont let me get it
=\

iv been trying to convince him for the past half hour
=\

i miss ronnie
and i hate the ass hole that stole him
D=<

and that is the only thing i want
i will not pay my phone bill for that mp3 player!
but, i have no way of getting to the persons house, unless i know the area they are from

i never wished that i could turn back time more than i do now

and for once, im not saying this because of a person
or something i did

and to know that just gives me a sort of, i dont know, accomplishment i guess you could say

i wanna turn back time to 1991
and be alive then
at least 15 preferably

i would love to go to AFI concerts

well, what can't you do that now you may ask?
because they are all emo-like now
they use to be punk
they use to be real

their songs remind me of anti-flag
well, not tho songs
the voice
davey's vocie
it reminds me of justin's voice
the way its not clear
[and kinda sounds like a retard screaming]

i love it
and i am most definitely in love with afi

first i fell in love with their song prelude 21/12
or maybe it was 12/21
any who, that's not important

but for some reason, i fell in love with that song
and not like, 'omg thats my fav shirt i love it!'
like real love
and it was weird

now listening to afi's old stuff makes me feel that way about them

and that's really weird [and probably stupid] to say about a song and band
but it's true

so as sad as it may be
i cannot control it
kinda like breathing

to the current person pissing me of...

go ahead
go and ignore me for no apparent reason
w/e
fuck you!

30 mins ago i could of killed some one, or better yet, myself

the air coming out of my lungs and up my throat is cold
my finger tips are so sore that they are numb
and i feel like im trapped

as if i am locked inside a box
but not a normal box, it's me
and i keep fighting to get out

my shoulders are either cold or in pain
it's hard to tell
it feels as if people are putting their cold, lifeless hand on my shoulders and back
or i am getting a number of shots at the same time
im not sure how those two are related

so yesterday on my way home from school my mind left my body
i don't remember getting off the bus
i don't remember crossing streets
i don't remember walking home
i just remember sitting on the bus then opening my front door
and im not sure what happened
it's like my brain turned off
but i remember thinking this whole time
but it seemed like i was gone for more than 3 or 4 minutes
it seemed more like an hour

during this time i was thinking
about how life would be if people could only see you as your shadow
or silhouette
how would that make society?
better?
worse?
or nothing would be different what so ever?

i heard that if people payed less attention to physicial things the world would be better
but i ask you, would it really?
don't you think it would be eaiser to end the life of people when you cannot see their face?
you couldn't see the terror
or the sadness
unless, the reason you do it is to see that, then maybe it will
but if you couldn't see ones face, how would you even know what expressions are?

sometimes it makes me wonder...

and right now i want to yell at the person whose hands are on my back and shoulder
my hands are warm
but to touch where i feel i am cold just turns my hand to ice

so who knows...

why is my blood so orange?

well
there was something here
then some one pointed out that it made me seem like "a whiny emo"
soooo
bye bye post

ahaha, i love my 'come back' to my teacher

so for research [who would of guessed?!?!?!] we had to looke up statistics or some stupid shit for grad project. and write what we found in out class blog
here is what i said:::



here is my teachers comment::



and here is my post replying to his comment::



so stick that and suck on it Hamilton

so now, i walk with a limp

for no reason
since yesterday, its been hurting
my upper leg
like some one was beating it with a meat tenderizer
it hurts every time i put pressure on it
and even when i don't, just not as bad
and my arm hurts too
same thing
i guess i strained my mussels
but i'm not sure how
i haven't lifted anything heavy
but now my laptop feels like a car

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

so i really haven't been doing much work in any core class
so yea
i fall asleep in cult lit
and i do this, play games, talk to people, and go on g-mail in research and e portfolio
but in research i also argue with our dumb ass of a teacher, if he can even qualify as that


and hey!
i kept my promise
=D