My so called "life"

ive been losing respect for almost everyone, but have gained it for myself, its like seeing everything with a dark mask has lightened my soul


and i really just wanna fall into that dark sadistic mind set
i mean
i feel like im slowly reaching that state
the state of wanting nothing more than a world filled with mutilation


just a dark, twisted, maniacal world


a world where everyone has their scars
and no one is afraid of them


i want a world or anarchy, and no one to tell you anything
just fuck it all
fuck any glimpse of a higher authority

let's live in a sadistic world
where people know and believe that they are the only reason for the good and the bad in their life

i want that kind of world
where we will actually believe in ourselves

but that sounds peaceful

and in all honesty, i know an anarchist community will collapse quickly




the world i want will never exist
and i must live with that


the life i wish to lead will never happen
because for the most part my life is too established, and i already who i am
i cannot gain skills and experiences
nor can i loose memories


the point of this blog is also filled with reasons i should never have a kid
i would throw them in too many activities, because i would want to give them opportunities, and open up all of their doors
id put them in some form of acrobatic, to gain balance and flexibility
get them a music instructor, so they could learn to read music
and an art class, so that they could lean to be creative, and that they can just be free and expressive
and whatever they wanted
weather it was a sport, or something educational, i would let them
so that they could achieve what they wanted to
and so they wouldn't be forced in to some group
so they could take all of their skills, and compile them into something they want
and so they can become who or what they want, and have almost no limitations

and in a way, to me, that is the perfect world
a world where you have no limitations
so you can be as free or as constricted as you like
so you can have the perfect balance of chaos and logic for you
so you could be happy, and i could be happy
as if we have all reached a state of ecstasy where we are all truly happy for who and what we are
so we always enjoy our company
so we are always happy
always want to live
always want to succeed
and always have something to hold on to
and realize that our future can become what we want it to be
because we are who we are
and we made ourselves who we are
because we got to experience all there was to experience when we were little


basically, im just one of those people, that thinks the world would be better my way
so feel free to tear this apart with all the negatives
because i already know what they are
and i choose to ignore them for the most part

but i know how people work
and i know how YOU work
and i know what YOU are thinking

so, come on and hit me with your best shot fuckers :)