My so called "life"

and im slipping again
i got out of that 'social and sleep' corner of the 'college' triangle for a bit
but im right the fuck back there

arg, and im really trying
kinda
i mean, i just slack on the readings
and dont go to all my classes
but most of them its kay that i miss
like optional ones that are 'for our benifit'
or ones where the teacher doesnt take attendence, he wrote the book, and all he does in class is go over the powerpoints
or when other people are giving a speech
those are okay to miss, right?

idk
i think tomorrow is going to be me taking a personal day
because i mean, i already told people to not contact me between 8-9 for surivivor
and fuck, i keep thinking tomorrow it thursday
which technicially it is
but its not because my day starts when i wake up


and i hate waking up late
especially on tuesdays and thursdays
because my room mate is in the shower between 930-1030
and i got class at 11
and i normally wake up right at 930 when i miss my first class, because thats when it is

and i just feel like the judge me
because i come in between 2am and 7am on weekdays
and i have people over....alot
weather its just for a few mins
or for a night or so
and because i dont goto some of my classes, which i explained
and because i dont wake up till like 1pm-5pm on weekends
idk
i really want a single
or people more like me

i fell so disconneceted to them, its like living with strangers

idk
i just got alot on my mind
some of which i cant say here, because well, its the internet
and some that i dont want to say here, once again, because its the internet
and everyone that has access to the internet and a device to get on the internet can read this

and i really think that the thought should freak me out alot more than it should
i mean, yea, idk
i think of the obvious things i want to say but cant
and the people that will read them and why i cant say them
i dont want to rant about people, good or bad, because they might stumble upon this
thats why i almost never mention names
unless its u know, maranada or colleen, because they read this
well, i guess you read this

i mean, i know i do
but im not gonna sit here and bitch bout people
i dont want to bitch bout people now
talk about them, but just to clear my head, you know?

i mean, idk, im weird
and i was going to say that you cant really be close to someone unless you can rant bout them
but that makes no sense
idk

i mean, theres no such thing as perfect...









































i wanted that to end my post
but i want to say a bit more
so im hoping this semi- awkward space helped leave the wanted effect, even if it was just for a moment

anyways
im going to have myself a brain dump
and call it a night

because i needed to share my brain dump idea, haha



word.