youll never understand how boring edinboro is on a weekend when you have no phone
x_x



i felt so alone and isolated
but it sucked because it wasnt really by choice
despite the fact i didnt put in any effort to really look for people till later


but my phones finally charging
so thats a plus i guess


im probably gonna make some mac and cheese seeing as how i didnt eat anything today besides the cupcake my room mate gave me
and my tummy is yelling at me
them imma do some hw and goto sleep at a semi reasonable time, i hope
im shooting for before 3
and then maybe i can get up and get noms and hang out with people

maybe i just needed a full day of nothing

this is the first day since the beginning of the year i didnt leave my building




and that makes me realize that when i say day i mean from when i woke up at like 7pm till i fall asleep in a few hrs



anyways, yea, noms, hw, night :)

i was listening to music on you tube


and i couldnt make it through a whole song with out switching it


i mean, i started listening to a band callllllled ten after two i think

idk, i just saw the name
bryan stars did an interview

so i looked them up
like i do with alot of bands he interviews







and then i clicked through a bunch of there songs and got to a rise against song
then went through some of theres then realized i killed 20 mins
and i didnt listen to 1 full song

so im going to go outside and repetitivley hit my head against the sidewalk until im sane again
:)






and if i knock myself unconscious, maybe in a few hours when people are going to class theyll just kinda kick me to wake me up
then ill goto class
with dry crusty blood all over my face


that sounds exciting
and it sounds like it would be worthy of a "my life is so interesting" text
haha

ugggggg


cant sleep

my stomach hurts really bad :/

and my rls was acting up really bad :/

and i guess i got a lot on my mind

i was laying in bed for an hour
no music
no tv
no lap top
no phone

and i just couldnt sleep
which makes no sense
because around 11 i was yawning like fucking crazy :/

im probably going to walk around aimlessly for a bit
or until i get cold

then just end up pulling an all nighter
because its almost 5 now, and im not going to be able to just sleep for 4 hours :/
my body doesnt let me JUST sleep for that little

so blah
ill just drink a bunch of coffee
and eat oatmeal
and drink naked
and then emergency c
so i stay awake
till like 530

i would skip my 3 class
but i have a test, even tho its a take home test
i might just go, and assuming that he will give us the test during the first half and not the second, dip when we get a break

or ill e-mail him and tell him my tummy has ouchies and i was all barfy
because chances are ill still be like this tomorrow
i was monday during the begining of the day
and today/yesterday towards the end
blahhhhhh

i should have taken my sleepy pills at 2
but i was like "no, they probably wont kick in until 4"
but its 5 now
so maybe if i take one itl still let me wake up
i mean
tomorrow is a day that im not too concerned with my classes
no tests or anything 'new'
well, maybe in math
and excluding my 2.5 hr class


blah, well see what happens tho i guess....

guys are confusing!

especially if you dont know if they are gay or bi x____x





stupid guys with their confusing signs x_x
haha












it would be the smart thing to ask
but i guess i dont really care that much
i just care enough to know! haha'

im such a nebshit xD

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this is how i feel
and not in a excited way


x____x




girls night was surprisingly fun tho
but i need singe friends up here
im getting really tired of being the third wheel...

i keep checking to make sure that its thursday




the days are going too fast









and the nights seem way too long


















and i almost miss being irked all the timeish

but then again, naw i dont














blah, i need a hobby
sitting here thinking isnt good for me
blah

idk if i already posted this




but the other day i noticed something









i have more mutual friends on fb with people i dont even know than my room mates
the only mutual friends i have with my room mates are my other room mates...

i put a post about local bands

so you comment how you are going to see fir

well two can play at that game
so i rant bout how i saw them and be a fan girl

then you say should i care


well, yes, actually you should because SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!

person: "hey, you awake"
me: "yea...y?"

5 mins later....




10 mins later...




okay, well fuck you then!

so you tell me to turn down my music cuz its too loud and your doing hw

the reason it was so loud was so i could drown out the tv and you talking in the other room

and i never new playing games was hw


but w/e floats your boat

i dont care how much i dislike him in fir

i mean, i just dont think he really fits the style
and i dont like he has the same name

but this is one of the most depressing status i saw in my entire life




i hope he reads it and smiles :)

spent the last like 3 or so hours watching bryan stars interviews

and i bawled during the a7x one
and laughed my ass off during the hollywood undead ones

and the rest were awesome


and then i was like, okay, ill watch ronnies, then go to sleep
and i watched that

and obsessed about how much i adore that man :)<3

and then i watched some other interviews and what not, then got depressed because mika's not there any more :/

than i caught up on mattg124's videos because he seems to be the only you tuber i give a flying fuck about

and i laughed sooooo fucking hard, because hes hilarious


then i was like, hmmm, ill scarlet, i wonder if they are good
which they are okay, depending on the song

then i started clicking around and what not
and yea

blah

i randomly got really depressed outta nowhere
and have the urge to bust into tears

but no reason why
and the tears wont come



soooooo, yea, weird
idk


maybe its a girl thing
or maybe the fact ive been awake sine 830am
yay for no classes

i guess ill waste my day away sleeping

at least i wont have to spend it watching my news feed blow up bout valentines day
i actually enjoy avoiding social networking sites on all holidays
like get the fuck over it...its just another day, haha
but consumerism made it a holiday
and put something symbolic behind it

but hell, when im 21 ill probably enjoy any holiday that gives me an excuse to drink
haha xD












my nights are so lonely with out someone here to give me an excuse to sleep, lolz
oh wells xD





and now a fir song came on, and iz all happy again
i swear, its purely unhealthy with the amount of obsession i have towards ronnie
well, i mean, at least i know its obsession...

thats not as bad than thinking something else right?

so that not mono not strep throat thing i had is actually tonsillitis

it was acting up so i went to the dr office on campus
and he looked at it and was like "its a clear case of tonsillitis"

like really!??!
when it happened before two doctors both swabed my throat and tested it for both mono and strep and they were both negative

so they gave me medicine for mono

uggg, i hate doctors x____x
but now i haz medicine for this ^_^







and btw
people are fucking retarded

sooooo i got a text saying
"do you wanna celebrate valentines day with me"
and i was like what does that involve
the answer was sex
and i was like no

then i was like you can come get your shit tho
and the response was "im too busy"


like really?!?!
you not to busy to offer sex, but your too busy to stop by for like a min to get your shit



arg, imma punch him in the face x_x
i hate people

so i found this...



and by found i mean a guy from my internship that i love posted it, haha

andddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd, yea, it made me giggle :)



and then made me think
why the fuck am i at edinboro still?

im no hipster, but i can make your hips stir ;)

so i have my glasses on, and i have stabucks coffee...i decided to be a hipster today, so im now creeping on tumblr, which may i add, i had one before it was cool...

i love that i have friends that dont sleep

and that i get texts at 2am saying "hey lets do something"


then another one at 3 xD



haha, and i love that two of those people live like on the other half of campus, but still walk there asses over to me in the snow :D





any who
my ear really hurts x_x
from someone wrestling with me on my bed

then me trying to get free and pulling both of us off
and wacking my ear off the metal bar on my bed

im glad the floor is carpeted xD


and even though i know iv fallen off my bed before, i just want to inform you that its like one of the scariest things ever!!





oh yea, and best quote thingy of the day...

"you know what would go really good with this cookie?"
"what?"
"buttsex"


haha, my life is so interesting xD
and i think that i need to text maranda in the am telling her that full story xD
if i can remember it, i might


but i enjoy texting her saying "my life is so interesting"
and shes always like "oh god, what did you do"

in case you didnt know...


my life is soooo interesting xD lolz

im being positive
and productive
well, except right now


but it was the smartest thing in the world for me to take off tuesdays and thursdays
its helping me pick all three of the sides of the college triangle [enough sleep, social life, good grades/study time]

so yea
and my english class was 5 mins
so that means either today is going to progressively get better
or that its gonna be fine, then just turn into complete shit


haha, and i love making new friends :D
yay!

im so eaisly excited
i also got really exctied about an incense burner for no reason xD


any who, time to finish some last min h/w :D

that funny moment when someone is completely avoiding you...



...then give your friends the evil eye...




like grow the fuck up xD

like really?!

it shouldnt be this hard to return someones shit


why the fuck would you ignore my texts yet up date your status like im not on facebook!?


i hate people, haha


and im don bitching, for now





which will probably only last for a day or two...oh wells :)

same ass hole pissing me off...


and then someone awesome fixing it :D



this has been my life for the past few weeks..
but not any more, im finally not trying to be as much as a fuck up :)



me: 1
world: 3 billion

...do i wake you up to talk to you?
or just let you sleep?


i mean, i guess it really doesn't matter...

...you didn't notice anything when you were awake...




...i really just don't understand how your mind works



...and i probably never will...

ugggg, i really do hate people...

i really want to drop out of edinboro
and go work for a few years
weather its at francos or some other place
or two places
because id still have to be a busser at francos probably

and then im going to nescom
http://www.nescom.edu/content/4305/Courses/

i like this
but i know i wont be able to go through with it
because nothing likes to work out right

maybe i can work at the hazlette
because she did kind of offer me a job type thing
but yea

i dont know
i still have my heart set on nescom
well, and iar
but nescom and like, more reasonable

but maybe i could like do both
because iar allows you to go back for free when new technology and shit comes out
which it the main reason i still have my heart set on it
but id have to like, rent an apartment because they dont have dorms

but yea
i really want to go to nescom
because im not getting anywhere at edinboro
taking fucking psychology of communication
and sociology
and learning about classical music
and watching movies and analyzing them
and well, math right now is good
because we are doing like interest and tax shit
and english, i mean, i dont really need 101 and 102
because its like, heres how you write a paper
thesis, 3 topic sentences, and closing
and use transitions
sooo hard, i would have pulled a solid b if not an a if i actually went to the damn class

but as much as i hate how in the middle of no where edinboro is
and how much i miss the city
im willing to be even more in butt fuck no where and farther away from the city to go here


any way, yea
edinboro doesnt even offer any fucking courses that help me in sound

like i was looking for the pre requirement to see if i could take it here
but they dont have it, obviously, but it was worth a try
idk

heres a link for the fuck of it:
http://www.nescom.edu/content/4305/Courses/

you and i in a little toy shop, buy a bag of balloons with the money we got. set them free at the break of dawn until one by one they are gone :)

today was nice
it was REALLY awkward for like almost all the night

but one person decided to be un-awkward
and after everyone left except for him and his room mate [who i literally just met a few hours ago, which it why it was awkward, lolz, idk their names, well i think i know one of their names, haha]
i was like "you can like kick me out whenever you want"
and then hes like "you can stay as long as you want"
and then i was like "i dont like invading peoples space"
so he sat right next to me and was like "is that better? now im the one invading your space"

haha, its weird, but that legit made it a hell of a lot less awkward, lolz

and i felt the need to share that with you :D
haha

because well, idk, i really do appreciate the simple things in life sometimes :)

...yea, i have that effect one people



they either love me or want to kill me,

there is no middle ground xD










if i had a dollar for every time i said that, or something like that, i would make it rain hardcore on some bitches xD

thoughts are stirring through my head like a thousand tiny mice dancing...