really don't feel like doing anything

im in on of those states where something as basic feels like a chore
i dnt have the urge to move, or eat, or drink, of get tylenol

all i want to do is sit here
and be a useless lump

partially because im tired
and partially because i feel lost in a place i felt comfort

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although it's not apparent
things and people change
more dramatically than you could ever expect

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i need to yell at some one
well two people
one because i cnt understand how they can be in love with the bitch of a person they are in love with, well, maybe use to be
and the other cuz some one said something that made it seem like they are telling this said person something that was supposed to stay between the two of us, and ONLY the TWO of this

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my thoughts and memories haunt me
i never said i was proud of the things i've done
i never said i'm proud of what i am
i never said i was proud of what i have becaome
i never said i was proud of what i use to be
but sometimes you have to roll with it
you get beat down
and you have to re-build your self
and when you as use to failure and disappointment as i am this becomes a daily task
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im so confused
but ill be the one to let go
you have one
and i come out the looser
but i will graciously hand you the crown
as you take the sought trophy out of my grasp
i will fall
and crash
scatter over the floor
into a million pieces
but don't waste your time picking me
i will be much more content under the carpeting in your heaven
and in the deepest pit of my hell
just please, do me one favor
keep that trophy shiny and clean
and if it slips
maybe it will drop
and it's pieces will be mixed together with me
<3
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a million points to the person that can figure out who this is about
excluding me

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well i guess thats all
for now
maybe ill catch some sleep tonight
and jump into my twisted reality