i've been listening to the new three days grace cd
its beyond orgasmic
xD
i love like every song!!
and they are inching their way up from "shitty emo band that i love" to "FUCKING AMAZING, IMMA DO THEM ALL!!!!!"
which is how i feel about...
well, felt about simple plan
and i guess scary kids scaring kids and before their eyes
BUT!!!
i re-pierced my ears
because i grew some balls
xD
no i can go spend like $200 on gauges
to gauge them
bahaha
thats the main reason i wanted them re-pierced
but, it hurt
haha, but i was like "I GOT ONE IN, I CAN GET THE OTHER!!!!"
so, that helped
xD
bahaha
i <3 life atm
for multiple reasons
i just dont wanna interact with people
that may end up fucking it up
haha
well i gotta get to bed in a bit
cuz i NEED to wake up at 5
cuz im meeting jess at 6
x_x
god only knows y
but imma have to go in early to finish my honors math
bah
then i haz a dentist appointment
oh joy
x_x
1/31/10
1/29/10
Dance like hell.
or at least thats what i meant to title it...
so i made this on.. yesterday
but was too tired and lazy to ya know, put it up...
so here it is xD
[u can click on them to make them bigger by the way...]
so i made this on.. yesterday
but was too tired and lazy to ya know, put it up...
so here it is xD
[u can click on them to make them bigger by the way...]
1/28/10
so today...
i like wrote this thing about how amazing i felt
then like
i came home
and that went down the drain
and now here i am
feeling like practically complete shit
and i NEED to do a shit load of work
but ill go in early tomorrow, even if its a 2hr delay
well if its that i can just do it at home
but shit isnt blocked at home..
hmmm, idk
ill figure it out
but i want to sleep
but cant
uggggg
i really dnt kno
or care ne more
ya know
sometimes u gotta just stop giving a shit
and damn "the day i left the womb" by escape the fate and "broken" by seether ft. amy lee
those two songs ALWAYS manage to get stuck on replay
x_x
wop-de-fucking-doo
so yea
w/e
i guess imma sleep soon
then like
i came home
and that went down the drain
and now here i am
feeling like practically complete shit
and i NEED to do a shit load of work
but ill go in early tomorrow, even if its a 2hr delay
well if its that i can just do it at home
but shit isnt blocked at home..
hmmm, idk
ill figure it out
but i want to sleep
but cant
uggggg
i really dnt kno
or care ne more
ya know
sometimes u gotta just stop giving a shit
and damn "the day i left the womb" by escape the fate and "broken" by seether ft. amy lee
those two songs ALWAYS manage to get stuck on replay
x_x
wop-de-fucking-doo
so yea
w/e
i guess imma sleep soon
now i have spell check again...
so yesterday i decided to look up lyrics to try and explain what i've been feeling like
so i made this then
but am posting it now
because i was afraid what i have tried not to tell people
would be to obvious
then i finally just said "fuck it"
and im about to hit the post button...
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Shouldn't I feel alive?
I swear that I've tried
To be alright
To sleep at night
Lost myself in an endless goodnight
Kept the time by the patterns of the streetlight
Couldn't get it right
I could never get it right
Sadly, this is a wasted conversation
Lost on you, lost on you
This is a test of my patience
Your blue eyes are so cruel
I can't escape all the things we've said
I've takin years off my life with the weight of regret
Now there's nothing left
There is nothing left to lose
Sadly, you turn away and now I'm faced
With the harsh truth, the harsh truth
My cold heart is a place where true love cannot bloom
Your pride just swallow it
just stop and take a breath
suck in the stench of death
so cross your fingers
until there's nothing left
it's getting colder
each and everyday
the nights get longer
i slowly fade
find me some beauty
in this empty place
before you know it
i'll be gone without a trace
give me a reason to
wake up and face the light
i've been searching for
a way out of this life
how will i make it through
this long and bitter night?
when things like breathing
feel like a waste
it seems like leaving's
the only way
the best intentions
they never got me by
i can't escape this
it has overcome my mind
You'll be lucky if you make it out alive.
Haven't we lost our minds?
What the hell were we all thinking?
Now they're choosing sides.
This is the world.
So close your eyes
and paint the picture.
The sunset staring back
won't last forever, forever.
Just close your eyes
and paint the picture,
cause the world we could have had
would have been better.
You'll pierce my lungs
my limbs go numb
as my colors fade out.
I gave you everything to die with a smile
all you wanted was to live for a while
you took everything but it left you empty
you can't replace me, you can't.
This path is like a loaded gun, but what’s said is done. You don’t have to say a word.
’m so afraid to ask,
I’ll turn my back forget the past; find me something true that is isn't sad.
We watched these days go by,
The seasons change and faded away, and the things I’ve learned to love go on and die.
I feel so alone and now my head is bowed in shame again,
So I look to the heart of the devil for answers.
I spend my nights and days, locked away; they’re all the same,
I don’t know how much more I can take.
somebody please tell me
what am I suppose to do?
you've died and I'm here
thinking that I hear your voice,
but it's somebody else
it's always somebody else
why did you die?
don't leave me please
I beg you God tonight bring me peace
I'll never sleep without
the dreams of you alive here with me, alive here with me
the brightness left your eyes
as I held your face
don't tell me it's the right time
and your last words will sustain me
until my end...until I see you again
Your words (your life) evade me (but a moment)
I'll cling to (I'll wait to) remember you (forever)
and what you have (your words) meant to me (on my blood)
could never be forgotten
the chains (why) of death (today)
have fallen (away), but my heart still bleeds
it longs for (why) the day (did you die)
when we will be as one, one, one
This life is much too hard for you and me.
They say we’re living in our dreams
black, white, and nothing in between.
This world is never as it seems to be.
But they don’t want this
and they don’t feel this
This world, we’ve gotta let it go.
This life is out of our control.
Just Breathe
The midnight air will do you well
Believe
I miss your taste,
I miss your smell.
The past mistakes that brought you here,
Will break the fall for you my dear.
I'll ask the nurse for bandages,
Don't send me on my way.
Rescue me from everything,
I just want to live,
I wish I could breathe.
Every other day,
I sit and wait for the same bad news.
Can you hear me say
"I've got nothing left to lose"
I've seen the worst case scenario,
I'm slowly letting go.
It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie
The moment to live and the moment to die
The moment to fight
To the right, to the left
We will fight to the death
To the Edge of the Earth
I believe in nothing
Not the end and not the start
I believe in nothing
Not the earth and not the stars
I believe in nothing
Not the day and not the dark
I believe in nothing
But the beating of our hearts
I believe in nothing
One hundred suns until we part
I believe in nothing
Not in satan, not in god
I believe in nothing
Not in peace and not in war
I believe in nothing
But the truth of who we are
I never thought the day would come
When we'd have to say goodbye
But now the time has come
As I wipe the tears from my eyes
Too tired of these lonely nights
I've lost everything
That meant anything
You're still ringing in my ears
Haunting in my dreams
I've tried running but I can't
Escape from you in my memories
It's what kills me slowly
You kill me slowly with the way
I know you won't come back
and I regret everything I said
The city is so cold tonight
It's exactly what I feel inside
I've lost you somewhere in forever
So lets start this all over
Because all of this seems to familiar
I might seem lifeless
But I'm not dead
Help me pick up the pieces
So I can see you again
With blood
And sweat
Hold back your tears
I won't forget the day that you went away
But somehow I know you're always here
Close to my heart
I can't believe your gone
I won't forget what you told me
I know you're out there somewhere
Waiting for me any day
Always close to my heart
I still can't believe your gone
this is my fate
i know there is no way out
So I can forget about yesterday
It's something that I can't forget
about this time,
can't let this break me down
Where are you tonight
I couldn't say goodbye
Your words still echo in my mind
We'll keep on fighting, but we'll never win
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
i claim either scary kids scaring kids or before their eyes my new favourite band
and if u havent noticed
the first like 50 lines and the last like 20 lines are from them
so i made this then
but am posting it now
because i was afraid what i have tried not to tell people
would be to obvious
then i finally just said "fuck it"
and im about to hit the post button...
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Shouldn't I feel alive?
I swear that I've tried
To be alright
To sleep at night
Lost myself in an endless goodnight
Kept the time by the patterns of the streetlight
Couldn't get it right
I could never get it right
Sadly, this is a wasted conversation
Lost on you, lost on you
This is a test of my patience
Your blue eyes are so cruel
I can't escape all the things we've said
I've takin years off my life with the weight of regret
Now there's nothing left
There is nothing left to lose
Sadly, you turn away and now I'm faced
With the harsh truth, the harsh truth
My cold heart is a place where true love cannot bloom
Your pride just swallow it
just stop and take a breath
suck in the stench of death
so cross your fingers
until there's nothing left
it's getting colder
each and everyday
the nights get longer
i slowly fade
find me some beauty
in this empty place
before you know it
i'll be gone without a trace
give me a reason to
wake up and face the light
i've been searching for
a way out of this life
how will i make it through
this long and bitter night?
when things like breathing
feel like a waste
it seems like leaving's
the only way
the best intentions
they never got me by
i can't escape this
it has overcome my mind
You'll be lucky if you make it out alive.
Haven't we lost our minds?
What the hell were we all thinking?
Now they're choosing sides.
This is the world.
So close your eyes
and paint the picture.
The sunset staring back
won't last forever, forever.
Just close your eyes
and paint the picture,
cause the world we could have had
would have been better.
You'll pierce my lungs
my limbs go numb
as my colors fade out.
I gave you everything to die with a smile
all you wanted was to live for a while
you took everything but it left you empty
you can't replace me, you can't.
This path is like a loaded gun, but what’s said is done. You don’t have to say a word.
’m so afraid to ask,
I’ll turn my back forget the past; find me something true that is isn't sad.
We watched these days go by,
The seasons change and faded away, and the things I’ve learned to love go on and die.
I feel so alone and now my head is bowed in shame again,
So I look to the heart of the devil for answers.
I spend my nights and days, locked away; they’re all the same,
I don’t know how much more I can take.
somebody please tell me
what am I suppose to do?
you've died and I'm here
thinking that I hear your voice,
but it's somebody else
it's always somebody else
why did you die?
don't leave me please
I beg you God tonight bring me peace
I'll never sleep without
the dreams of you alive here with me, alive here with me
the brightness left your eyes
as I held your face
don't tell me it's the right time
and your last words will sustain me
until my end...until I see you again
Your words (your life) evade me (but a moment)
I'll cling to (I'll wait to) remember you (forever)
and what you have (your words) meant to me (on my blood)
could never be forgotten
the chains (why) of death (today)
have fallen (away), but my heart still bleeds
it longs for (why) the day (did you die)
when we will be as one, one, one
This life is much too hard for you and me.
They say we’re living in our dreams
black, white, and nothing in between.
This world is never as it seems to be.
But they don’t want this
and they don’t feel this
This world, we’ve gotta let it go.
This life is out of our control.
Just Breathe
The midnight air will do you well
Believe
I miss your taste,
I miss your smell.
The past mistakes that brought you here,
Will break the fall for you my dear.
I'll ask the nurse for bandages,
Don't send me on my way.
Rescue me from everything,
I just want to live,
I wish I could breathe.
Every other day,
I sit and wait for the same bad news.
Can you hear me say
"I've got nothing left to lose"
I've seen the worst case scenario,
I'm slowly letting go.
It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie
The moment to live and the moment to die
The moment to fight
To the right, to the left
We will fight to the death
To the Edge of the Earth
I believe in nothing
Not the end and not the start
I believe in nothing
Not the earth and not the stars
I believe in nothing
Not the day and not the dark
I believe in nothing
But the beating of our hearts
I believe in nothing
One hundred suns until we part
I believe in nothing
Not in satan, not in god
I believe in nothing
Not in peace and not in war
I believe in nothing
But the truth of who we are
I never thought the day would come
When we'd have to say goodbye
But now the time has come
As I wipe the tears from my eyes
Too tired of these lonely nights
I've lost everything
That meant anything
You're still ringing in my ears
Haunting in my dreams
I've tried running but I can't
Escape from you in my memories
It's what kills me slowly
You kill me slowly with the way
I know you won't come back
and I regret everything I said
The city is so cold tonight
It's exactly what I feel inside
I've lost you somewhere in forever
So lets start this all over
Because all of this seems to familiar
I might seem lifeless
But I'm not dead
Help me pick up the pieces
So I can see you again
With blood
And sweat
Hold back your tears
I won't forget the day that you went away
But somehow I know you're always here
Close to my heart
I can't believe your gone
I won't forget what you told me
I know you're out there somewhere
Waiting for me any day
Always close to my heart
I still can't believe your gone
this is my fate
i know there is no way out
So I can forget about yesterday
It's something that I can't forget
about this time,
can't let this break me down
Where are you tonight
I couldn't say goodbye
Your words still echo in my mind
We'll keep on fighting, but we'll never win
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
i claim either scary kids scaring kids or before their eyes my new favourite band
and if u havent noticed
the first like 50 lines and the last like 20 lines are from them
1/26/10
speak for yourself...you crash where you sail ;D
We do not understand:::
Joy until we face sorrow
Faith until it is tested
Peace until faced with conflict
Trust until we are betrayed
Love until it is lost
Hope until confronted with doubts
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying, is exactly the one making you cry?
i hate when that happens
"you almost made me cry again"
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
really hyper
haha, idk
imma quote all the songs i use
but at the end
and in order
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
duck duck gooooose! mother fucker!!!
bahahaha
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
im so abnormally hyper
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
i looked up the best way to punt a puppy today
the results were no use to me..
but i did find this
along with alot of stuff
iv just had a feeling today was gonna be an ah-fucking-mazing day!!
now im just waiting for the bad depressing thing to send me into a downward spiral...
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
"close your eyes, just settel"
"i got a bad feeling about this"
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
hmmmm, i need like, and instigator
to make me talk
because on the bus i was all like
dsfjkhdskjshfksjdfsdlkjfhsdlkhskfshdfkk
i NEEEEEED to be randomenesses prostitute!!!!
but now im like
aaaaaah, ummmmm, okay?
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
i need punched in the faceeeee
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
"LOUDER!!! i can't hear it!!!!"
<3
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
what am i fighting for???
i said im okay, but i know how to lie
now you must decifer..
truth vs lie
life's a bitch, aint it?
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
lets slit our wrists like cheap coupons
and say that death was on sale today!
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
ill be the narrator
telling another tale of the american dream
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
i name Before Their Eyes my new favourite band
soooooo
yea
suck on that bitchessssssssssss!!!!!
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
ugggggg
i gotta go get ready for grl scouts now
x_x
iZ hungy
and wants fooooodz
haha
ill bbl
not like ud notice
bahaha
fuck
i only got like 5 mins x_x
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
did u get my message???
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
so im back from grl scouts
ummmm
they were trying to get me to do this stupid dodge ball thing
and i was like no
then they said we can make our own teams
and i was like WIN!!!!
haha
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
i got a paper cut D=
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
im kinda tired
and about to crash
ugggg, too much home work
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
and i have something on my mind
thats been bothering me for about a month now
and the more it goes on
the worse it gets
and the more real what i don't want to be true is happening right in front of my eyes
=\
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
so i guess the bad thing didnt happen...yet
that i thought would
unless the thing on my mind is it
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
and DAMN!!!! i didnt remember paper cuts hurting this fucking bad!!!!
D=
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
good night moon
good night stars
good night thoughts
good night friends
good night music
good morning tears..
songs quoted:::
The resistance- Anberlin
Buried myself alive- The Used
A Decade under the influence- taking back Sunday
A song the world can sing out loud- a change of pace
Fighting- yellow card
Fight song- Marilyn manson
Dear maria- all time low
Did you get my message- Jason maraz
1/25/10
breaking my back just to know your name
i thought of something sad today
just in case you cared...
then i thought
and, of course, that didn't help
so for the most of the day
i had the same two or three repeating in my head
over and over again
eating away at my skull
making every breath go by faster and faster
every breath we take,
is a breath closer to the end
i think of it the 'depressing' way
but there really is no 'happy' way to think about breathing
you know?
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
so i was looking through all of my open programs
and i found the note pad i had these lyrics posted in
and that reason is because
i remember saying that these were MY lyrics
they described me
and they were like, my theme
but now,
now i look back and don't see it
because i realized that i missunderstood a few of them
and they arn't the same
but i really do enjoy Socratic
and halafix
and i spelled that wrong
but
yea
indie is suck an amazing genre of music
if i could chose to be any genre sterotype, it would be and indie, or punck
i don't know why
but probably more indie
because it's like
not there
you know
like you look at people
and can say "oh they are metal heads"
or "they are crunk kids"
or "look! emo kid!"
or "theres a future rapper"
and even "haha, punk kid ftw"
and why not throw in "hes a ska kid"
but i don't think ive ever been like "zoh my god, theres and indie kid"
like, i looked at and indie clothing store
and some of there stuff is like, scene or punk
its like, a scene/punk mix
idk, sterotypes are just getting kinda annoying
alouthough, i saw some one
that always says "SCENE KID!!!!" when he sees me
and that time he didnt
we just did that look at each other thing
and i was like, "so your not gonna say it this time?"
and he acted completely clueless
and idk wat got into him
and i havent been called an emo kid by a certain person for quite some bit
but maybe cuz he said someone kept calling him emo
and he realized how fucking annoying it is
idk
hes no where near emo
so w/e
ugg, i really should sleeeeeeeeep
maybe ill look at some indie clothes and what not
then call it a night
good night world
and good night moon
today, is a good night
with smiles and happniess
gawd, don't make the morning come to soon now
just stay like this
during the time life is good
<3 :)
just in case you cared...
then i thought
and, of course, that didn't help
so for the most of the day
i had the same two or three repeating in my head
over and over again
eating away at my skull
making every breath go by faster and faster
every breath we take,
is a breath closer to the end
i think of it the 'depressing' way
but there really is no 'happy' way to think about breathing
you know?
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
so i was looking through all of my open programs
and i found the note pad i had these lyrics posted in
"Drivers in the taxicabs,
People live their roles.
Thirty-five cents.
Throw it in the toll.
They don't know they're paying what
is stealing their food.
They're forced into the melting
pot where they're simmered and
brewed.
He loves being sick but he looks for a cure.
[Chorus:]
You can call this sane.
You can call this eccentric.
He marks his books with steak knives.
All we are is lunch for the sky.
Why can't we be jazz musicians?
A little melody will soon be missing.
All we are is lunch for the sky.
Let's all play the lottery so we
can buy all our dreams.
I'm a self-help video with the worst themes.
Everything I wanted I was all in a dream.
I still wasn't much or was that just how I seem?
He loves being sick but he looks for a cure.
[Chorus]
I stood back to the countryside.
I asked if you'd like to take a ride.
My moods come in two stages.
God-awful and contagious.
I can't tell you what I want to say.
The city digested yesterday.
Death is not the end it is the cure.
[Chorus]"
and i remembers why they were thereand that reason is because
i remember saying that these were MY lyrics
they described me
and they were like, my theme
but now,
now i look back and don't see it
because i realized that i missunderstood a few of them
and they arn't the same
but i really do enjoy Socratic
and halafix
and i spelled that wrong
but
yea
indie is suck an amazing genre of music
if i could chose to be any genre sterotype, it would be and indie, or punck
i don't know why
but probably more indie
because it's like
not there
you know
like you look at people
and can say "oh they are metal heads"
or "they are crunk kids"
or "look! emo kid!"
or "theres a future rapper"
and even "haha, punk kid ftw"
and why not throw in "hes a ska kid"
but i don't think ive ever been like "zoh my god, theres and indie kid"
like, i looked at and indie clothing store
and some of there stuff is like, scene or punk
its like, a scene/punk mix
idk, sterotypes are just getting kinda annoying
alouthough, i saw some one
that always says "SCENE KID!!!!" when he sees me
and that time he didnt
we just did that look at each other thing
and i was like, "so your not gonna say it this time?"
and he acted completely clueless
and idk wat got into him
and i havent been called an emo kid by a certain person for quite some bit
but maybe cuz he said someone kept calling him emo
and he realized how fucking annoying it is
idk
hes no where near emo
so w/e
ugg, i really should sleeeeeeeeep
maybe ill look at some indie clothes and what not
then call it a night
good night world
and good night moon
today, is a good night
with smiles and happniess
gawd, don't make the morning come to soon now
just stay like this
during the time life is good
<3 :)
1/22/10
still grad projectless
who really just wants to get her fucking GED and get the hell out of that shitty place?
damn straight
i've developed frome "i hate this fucking place"
to "can i just get my fucking GED and be done with this shit?!?!"
so facebook stalking people i've spent 9 years with then just kind of lost may not be a good thing
they made me laugh
cuz i hate most of them
but you know, i guess i didnt ALWAYS hate them, because there HAS to be a time in ur life where u dnt know what hate is
right?
sorry for the bad spelling
my fire fox is being lame and not highlighting shit
and i cant manage to find the spell check button on this
i know, i know, it's sad
im gonna go read bury your head now..
then maybe get some sleep
who knows ne more, because i sure as hell dont..
i also looked up a deism was
cuz i was having a convo with someone about my outlook on garbage
and he said i seemed like one
so i looked it up
and it makes alot of sense, idk tho
maybe its just me...
and im still in disbeleif that what happened last night actually happened
and yea, i still am kinda pissed
but idk
i kno people care
over react yes
i need to either give them my house number or peoples numbers that have my house number
seeing as how my parents are kinda completley pissed at my friends
woop-dee-fucking doo
idk
i think im gonna quit drama
cuz last year i got SOOOOOO much fucking worse at drama
and if shit like this is already going down, it may be safer for me to leave
but, we arnt gonna b at the theater as long
and a few of the people that kept pissing me off are gone
but i do hate that me and some one have to share a 2 min part
=\
booo, thats just fucked up
like come on ringold. grow some fucking balls and cut people
and theres the devils name again...
gawd, i blame him for everything
cuz he is alwways fucking involved in my missery
somehow
i need help in grad project
he gets me off topic
i tell him i wanna change my grad topic
he says no
i say i wanna go into music production
he says i cant
then points out all the reasons im unable to
telling me in not good enough
i would of had a good part in drama if it wernt from him
if he wouldnt of told me [after i memorized it] that i couldnt do that monoluge and had to to a different one
he pulls me out of class, that i struggle in as is
then sends me on a wild goose chase to find a paper that i turned in cuz he doesnt update shit
he pulls me out of class to tell me i need atleas a 2.5 to stay in drama this trimester
i had i 3.05 last trimester, its like he thinks i had below a 2.5
gawd, i could go on and on forever
with all the reasons he pisses me off
gawd
i need to stop bitching about my life
i need to actually quit a few things
and i have an idea on how to quite one thing
or at least try to
because i kno wat i wanna do
and i've done it b4
but it didnt really work
but im gonna try it again
and i think that this time it will work
and even tho ill b misseriable
i can think of a few people that would be happy
or relived
im like, really excited about doing this too
its not even funny
well actually, its depressing
well either way it is
but a smile arises across my face wen i think about it
so, it cant be too bad
i mean, its not one of my demented smiles
i've givin off hints about something thats been on my mind
for the past few years
i didnt straight up tell ne one
but i think they know
i kind of hinted
but if they noticed, they didnt acknwledge nething
which i guess is good
but im still scared that im going to have to relive that moment
with some one else
and the hinting will stip here
as much as i want to go on...
The Rev died, and im going to mourn that for quite some time...
just thinking of some of this shit is making me ansey and shakey
and i've been tired since like 6
ugggg
fml?
nah
i miss my 'deep' blogs
they made me thing
and i still remember who "bury your head" was about
odd i remember the title?
maybe
odd i remeber posting it to my live journal from my phone going under the tunnel from dwn twn to the junction
yes
how?
idk
why?
idk
damn straight
i've developed frome "i hate this fucking place"
to "can i just get my fucking GED and be done with this shit?!?!"
so facebook stalking people i've spent 9 years with then just kind of lost may not be a good thing
they made me laugh
cuz i hate most of them
but you know, i guess i didnt ALWAYS hate them, because there HAS to be a time in ur life where u dnt know what hate is
right?
sorry for the bad spelling
my fire fox is being lame and not highlighting shit
and i cant manage to find the spell check button on this
i know, i know, it's sad
im gonna go read bury your head now..
then maybe get some sleep
who knows ne more, because i sure as hell dont..
i also looked up a deism was
cuz i was having a convo with someone about my outlook on garbage
and he said i seemed like one
so i looked it up
and it makes alot of sense, idk tho
maybe its just me...
and im still in disbeleif that what happened last night actually happened
and yea, i still am kinda pissed
but idk
i kno people care
over react yes
i need to either give them my house number or peoples numbers that have my house number
seeing as how my parents are kinda completley pissed at my friends
woop-dee-fucking doo
idk
i think im gonna quit drama
cuz last year i got SOOOOOO much fucking worse at drama
and if shit like this is already going down, it may be safer for me to leave
but, we arnt gonna b at the theater as long
and a few of the people that kept pissing me off are gone
but i do hate that me and some one have to share a 2 min part
=\
booo, thats just fucked up
like come on ringold. grow some fucking balls and cut people
and theres the devils name again...
gawd, i blame him for everything
cuz he is alwways fucking involved in my missery
somehow
i need help in grad project
he gets me off topic
i tell him i wanna change my grad topic
he says no
i say i wanna go into music production
he says i cant
then points out all the reasons im unable to
telling me in not good enough
i would of had a good part in drama if it wernt from him
if he wouldnt of told me [after i memorized it] that i couldnt do that monoluge and had to to a different one
he pulls me out of class, that i struggle in as is
then sends me on a wild goose chase to find a paper that i turned in cuz he doesnt update shit
he pulls me out of class to tell me i need atleas a 2.5 to stay in drama this trimester
i had i 3.05 last trimester, its like he thinks i had below a 2.5
gawd, i could go on and on forever
with all the reasons he pisses me off
gawd
i need to stop bitching about my life
i need to actually quit a few things
and i have an idea on how to quite one thing
or at least try to
because i kno wat i wanna do
and i've done it b4
but it didnt really work
but im gonna try it again
and i think that this time it will work
and even tho ill b misseriable
i can think of a few people that would be happy
or relived
im like, really excited about doing this too
its not even funny
well actually, its depressing
well either way it is
but a smile arises across my face wen i think about it
so, it cant be too bad
i mean, its not one of my demented smiles
i've givin off hints about something thats been on my mind
for the past few years
i didnt straight up tell ne one
but i think they know
i kind of hinted
but if they noticed, they didnt acknwledge nething
which i guess is good
but im still scared that im going to have to relive that moment
with some one else
and the hinting will stip here
as much as i want to go on...
The Rev died, and im going to mourn that for quite some time...
just thinking of some of this shit is making me ansey and shakey
and i've been tired since like 6
ugggg
fml?
nah
i miss my 'deep' blogs
they made me thing
and i still remember who "bury your head" was about
odd i remember the title?
maybe
odd i remeber posting it to my live journal from my phone going under the tunnel from dwn twn to the junction
yes
how?
idk
why?
idk
im not sure if..
accidents can happen or courtesy call or hero explains how im feeling after last night..
Accidents can happen
By:: Sixx: A.M
Don't give up, it takes a while
I have seen this look before
And it's alright
You're not alone
If you don't love this anymore
I hear that you've slipped again
I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend
And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.
Take some time and learn to breathe
And remember what it means
To feel alive
And to believe
Something more than what you see
I know there's a price for this
But some things in life you must resist
And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.
I hear that you've slipped again
I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend
And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.
You know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.
So don't give up
It takes a while.
------------------------------------
Courtesy Call
By:: Sixx: A.M
[Dialtone, knocking]
[Female voice:] Housekeeping...
[Knocking]
[Female:] Hello, housekeeping?
[Tries, door, knocking]
[Female:] Hello?
Well you found me, but I don't know
Why you wanna save me...
Well, God is great and God is good
But God didn't help me when he could
And life dances so lonely by.
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
I, I can't feel anything
My arms are numb and I'm hoping
You noticed the line I left off
All that you'll find inside
Are bells and butterflies
But I'll be smiling when I die
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
[Knocking]
[Female:] Sir, I know you're in there; are you okay?
[Male voice:] Excuse me, ma'am, what's the problem here?
[Female:] No one answering.
[Male:] Who's in here. Hello?
[Knocking]
[Male:] Hello? Stepping in the room now...
[Keys jingle, LOUD blunt thump, dialtone gets louder]
[Male:] Oh Jesus Christ!
[Female:] Oh! Ooh!
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
(Why'd you want to save me?)
This is just a matter of policy
(Why'd you want to save me now?)
This is just an act of kindness
(What'd you want to do it for?)
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
(Why would you wanna save my life?)
This is just a matter of policy
(I know you did or you could)
This is just an act of kindness
(It's been comin' for a long time, long time...)
To let you know that your time is up
------------------------------------------------
year zero (or hero, idk which is the right name)
by: 30 seconds to mars
Be a hero
Kill your ego
It doesn't matter it's all just a pack of lies
Build a new base
Steal a new face
It doesn't matter it's all just to save you
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
I will stand by your ground
I will tear down myself
I won't fade
Year zero
Another hero
Is anybody alive here across the line?
Buy a new face
Start a new race
It doesn't matter it's all just to save your face
It's all just to save you
It's all just to save your face
It's all just to save you
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
I will stand by your ground
I will tear down myself
I will stand by your ground
I will tear down myself
I won't fade
I won't fade
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away (We will never fade away)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade away)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade away)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade away)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade)
We'll never fade away
-------------------------------------------------
sooooo, yea..
i want more sleep...
idk, but i was really pissed
and sad
and worried
when what happened
happened
you know?
idk ne more...
Accidents can happen
By:: Sixx: A.M
Don't give up, it takes a while
I have seen this look before
And it's alright
You're not alone
If you don't love this anymore
I hear that you've slipped again
I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend
And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.
Take some time and learn to breathe
And remember what it means
To feel alive
And to believe
Something more than what you see
I know there's a price for this
But some things in life you must resist
And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.
I hear that you've slipped again
I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend
And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.
You know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.
So don't give up
It takes a while.
------------------------------------
Courtesy Call
By:: Sixx: A.M
[Dialtone, knocking]
[Female voice:] Housekeeping...
[Knocking]
[Female:] Hello, housekeeping?
[Tries, door, knocking]
[Female:] Hello?
Well you found me, but I don't know
Why you wanna save me...
Well, God is great and God is good
But God didn't help me when he could
And life dances so lonely by.
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
I, I can't feel anything
My arms are numb and I'm hoping
You noticed the line I left off
All that you'll find inside
Are bells and butterflies
But I'll be smiling when I die
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
[Knocking]
[Female:] Sir, I know you're in there; are you okay?
[Male voice:] Excuse me, ma'am, what's the problem here?
[Female:] No one answering.
[Male:] Who's in here. Hello?
[Knocking]
[Male:] Hello? Stepping in the room now...
[Keys jingle, LOUD blunt thump, dialtone gets louder]
[Male:] Oh Jesus Christ!
[Female:] Oh! Ooh!
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
This is just a matter of policy
This is just an act of kindness
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
(Why'd you want to save me?)
This is just a matter of policy
(Why'd you want to save me now?)
This is just an act of kindness
(What'd you want to do it for?)
To let you know that your time is up
This is just a courtesy call
(Why would you wanna save my life?)
This is just a matter of policy
(I know you did or you could)
This is just an act of kindness
(It's been comin' for a long time, long time...)
To let you know that your time is up
------------------------------------------------
year zero (or hero, idk which is the right name)
by: 30 seconds to mars
Be a hero
Kill your ego
It doesn't matter it's all just a pack of lies
Build a new base
Steal a new face
It doesn't matter it's all just to save you
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
I will stand by your ground
I will tear down myself
I won't fade
Year zero
Another hero
Is anybody alive here across the line?
Buy a new face
Start a new race
It doesn't matter it's all just to save your face
It's all just to save you
It's all just to save your face
It's all just to save you
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
I will stand by your ground
I will tear down myself
I will stand by your ground
I will tear down myself
I won't fade
I won't fade
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away
We'll never fade away (We will never fade away)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade away)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade away)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade away)
We'll never fade away (We will never fade)
We'll never fade away
-------------------------------------------------
sooooo, yea..
i want more sleep...
idk, but i was really pissed
and sad
and worried
when what happened
happened
you know?
idk ne more...
1/19/10
“Only in death will we rise”
Holding on to stuff of the past
Little mess ups
Little mistakes
Things that don’t dramatically affect anything
Just sitting here making a lost pencil feel like an apocalypse
Not saying that’s what happened, because it didn’t
I get all upset by a simple phrase
A single person
A facial expression
The style someone writes
A song
And it’s all just so little
So insignificant
But means so much to me
“She means so little to so many, why does she mean everything to me?”
And some how
I manage to relate these little pointless interactions, with horrible things
You know, they things you can’t forget
The things you can’t un-see
The things you can’t undo
The words you can un-say
The actions you can’t take back
The wasted moments
Regretting things that you have no way of stopping
And constantly living with that regret
And sadness
And anger
And emptiness
Wishing you could of helped
Could of stopped it
Change things said
Actions done
Re-live your life
With that little rewind button
Go back, and do over
Go back, and be happy
Delete to forget
Stop, to numb the pain
And stop the tears
Take away the fear
I hate that
I hate how I get so off topic
And how I can stat by thinking about how amazing my day was
Then a few hrs of thought, it turns into enraged sadness
And I don’t know what to do with myself
I hate being around people when I’m like this
Or when I’m anything BUT happy
Because I don’t like to be seen that way
Or thought of that way
Or bring people to my level
That’s one of the things that scare me the most
Someone completely understanding me
Some one that can read me like a book
Some one that is like, in my mind, or brain
Some one that knows me more than I thought it would ever be possible to know myself
I try my hardest to live up to my own standards
I try to be ‘perfect’ as I think it would be portrayed for me
I hate that word, perfect, I need another list…
But, my image, I try and perfect
But it doesn’t
My personality, nowhere near close
Gawd, I’d even go as far as saying I want to get rid of some of my friends and find new ones to create the perfect me
It’s stupid
Immature
Selfish
But I don’t know, I want it, sadly, kind of..
“A poetic tragedy falls upon your doorstep as you wake. Confide in your friends and family to wash this pain away. Goodbyes are inevitable but I will see you again and never forget the simple fact that I will always love you. Did I do you proud?”
Quoting songs are funn
Bringing me joy
And I world of sorrow
Can you fucking say emo bitch much?
Gawd this kills me
Afraid to let go
Afraid to hold on
Afraid to just be
Nothing more, nothing less
Average
If it can even be compared to that
What is average?
Who says it is what it is
Who makes right and wrong
Who give a fuck?
It’s all bullshit
No one fucking cares
Just give up and give in and quit already, damn it!
This makes me think of the silhouettes
That post, I wrote
A while back
That was something
Not good, nor bad
Just something
Because now, noting can just be
It has to be more or less
Better or worse
WHY CAN’T IT BE!
Just let it the fuck be!
Please
Release the grip you have to tightly around my neck
Let me fall to the depths of you deepest hell
Relax my body
Evict my air
I could probably go on
But I don’t know, I should of stopped a while back
But I had more to say
Just twisting my words so they form something new
1/15/10
my brain hurts
you know, like when your head hurts
but its like under your skull
it hurts
blah
ummmm, yea
the snowball is tonight
and ummm
yea
idk wat to type
bahum bug
kinda got stuff on my mind, but thats not new news
sooooooo, yea
peace!
but its like under your skull
it hurts
blah
ummmm, yea
the snowball is tonight
and ummm
yea
idk wat to type
bahum bug
kinda got stuff on my mind, but thats not new news
sooooooo, yea
peace!
1/13/10
bah hum bug x_x
people say im depressed
well a person
damn him for being right
well a person
damn him for being right
| Disorder | Your Score |
|---|---|
| Major Depression: | High |
| Dysthymia: | Very High |
| Bipolar Disorder: | Slight |
| Cyclothymia: | Slight-Moderate |
| Seasonal Affective Disorder: | Slight |
| Postpartum Depression: | N/A |
| Take the Depression Test | |
1/11/10
idk..
i just feel like crying
for no real reason i guess
just an urge
now im faced to keep it in
or let it out...
for no real reason i guess
just an urge
now im faced to keep it in
or let it out...
one of those blank days
i couldnt spell worth shit today
idk what it is
maybe too much stuff on my mind
pressure?
idk
just w/e
do what you will
ill figure a way out of it
eventually
even it is mean crawling
with limbs cut off,bleeding, aching
its you will
let it be
make me happy
go vote for THE I DRIVE
http://www.fuel.tv/pacsun
and tell people to please
i will be soooo happy if they win
not like it will effect me in anyway
they are just beyond amazing
thanks
idk what it is
maybe too much stuff on my mind
pressure?
idk
just w/e
do what you will
ill figure a way out of it
eventually
even it is mean crawling
with limbs cut off,bleeding, aching
its you will
let it be
make me happy
go vote for THE I DRIVE
http://www.fuel.tv/pacsun
and tell people to please
i will be soooo happy if they win
not like it will effect me in anyway
they are just beyond amazing
thanks
1/10/10
1/9/10
your not alone, there is more to this i know!
soooo, idk wat to say
today was a good day
and i have nothing to complain about
so here is an epic conversation i had with some one one omegle.com
you know, the place u talk to strangers
im you, and stranger is well, a stranger
=D
enjoy!
Stranger: You missed a call while you were in that meeting, sir
You: oh my!\
You: im sorry! who was it?
Stranger: It was your son, sir...
You: MY SON!!! by god! i thought he died 4 years ago!1
You: what did he say?
Stranger: No, he..he's uh..out of prison.
You: prison? for what?
You: what did he do that my wife tld me he was dead!??!
Stranger: Armed robbery, i guess...
You: u guess! i dnt pay u to guess! i pay u to know!
Stranger: Well, thats what he told me..he didnt sound to sure himself when he told me...who knows could of been anything!
You: well get him back on the phone davison!
Stranger: Yes, sir..*brushes dirt off skirt and starts to walk away*
You: and take of that skirt!
You: ur a man for crying out loud!
Stranger: *stops and slowly turns* s-sir? you thought i was a man? I HAVE BOOBS! AND I MISSED TWO DAYS OF WORK BECUASE I WENT INTO LABOR!
You: non sense!
You: now get my son on the phone!
You: or ur fired damnit!
Stranger: DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT?? YOU ALMOST FAINTED! IT WAS DURING THE CHRISTMAS PARTY! *stops* Fine..fine i don't care anymore...
Stranger: *goes to the phone and picks it up*
Stranger: *starts dialing*
You: any day now!
Stranger: *few moments later hangs up* No answer.
You: try again!
Stranger: *sighs and dials phone again*
You: ur not leaving this office till u reach him!
You: and not breaks either!
Stranger: *on phone* M-max? Hi, i work for your father...He wants to speak with you..uh huh..ok *hands you phone* Here.
You: hello!!! son!!!! i-is it really u!!???!?!?!
Stranger: *sits in chair, crosses legs and arms*
You: ummm, h-hello?
You: wats wrong???
You: wait, where?
Stranger: *looks at you and raises eyebrow*
You: how, i dnt understand
You: what do u mean!
You: b-but
You: oh, okay, sorry for bothering u
You: *hangs up phone*
You: WAS THAT SOME SICK JOKES!
You: JOKE**!
Stranger: Pardon me?
Stranger: *stands up*
You: that wasnt my son
Stranger: He's the one who called and claimed to be your son, sir!
You: no, he said he never called
Stranger: He could be Lying!
You: and that his father has been dead for 6years now
You: and y wld my sone lie to me!
You: son*
Stranger: *yells* Who Knows?
You: u kno!
You: thats who know!
You: u did this!
You: u made it all up!!!!
You: y?>
You: y would u do this to me?
Stranger: WHY WOULD I MAKE IT UP?
You: because, u wanted to touch an emotion
You: that i dnt show
You: because i though u were a man
You: u wanted to get revenge on me
You: ur a sick sick person!
Stranger: *Yells* DAMMIT! *hits wall and whispers* w-why would i do that..I-i know what its like to loose a son...
You: bull *beeeeeep*
Stranger: *reaches into skirt pocket and pulls out picture of a baby; throws it at you* This is him. His name was James.
Stranger: He's the reason i went into labor at the christmas party.
You: i dnt beleive it one bit!
You: u and- and ur lies!
You: trying to make me look like a fool!
You: how dare u!
Stranger: MY JACKASS HUSBAND LEFT ME WITH NOTHING, TOOK MY CHILD TOOK MY LOVE, MY LIFE
Stranger: AND ...
Stranger: AND KILLED IT ALL!
Stranger: *Starts crying and falls to the ground*
You: how cld he take ur life, ur alive!
You: damnit! stop making a scene!
Stranger: *whispers* Its an expression
Stranger: AND DO YOU THINK I CAN REALLY HELP IT?
You: just go home! take a break!
You: come back in a week!
Stranger: *shakes head* You disgust me.
You: ill give u a payed vacation!
You: just get out of here
You: u need to recover
You: be gone!
Stranger: *stands up* You are one sad...sad man...
You: wld u rather me fire u?
You: i dnt kno what else to do!
You: im not weak like u! i get back up and deal with it
You: *helps u up*
Stranger: *sighs* i-i honestly don't care anymore,
You: im sorry
You: how can i help
Stranger: *pushes you away from me* You can't help. No one can.
You: *grabs u by the arm* are u sure? do u need a thearapist? a-a raise? what?!
Stranger: *closes eyes* Nothing.
You: please
You: let me help u
You: please
Stranger: *turns and looks at you* what the hell do you think can help me?
You: i can help give u another son
Stranger: *eyes widen*
You: u kno
Stranger: *jaw drops* S-sir...I-i..uh..
You: just say yes
You: we will fill out the papers
You: and u can have ur son
Stranger: *looks down* you don't get it.
You: what do u mean?
Stranger: It won't be the same...James is gone...I Loved james, I almost dies for him...and know...hes just gone.
Stranger: *died
You: but im offering u another chance
Stranger: *now
Stranger: *looks up* what do you mean?
You: another chance, another son
Stranger: Adoption?
You: yes, un-unless u were thinking of something else..
Stranger: No...I wasnt...*looks away*
You: oh okay then
You: so, do u want to fill out the papers?
You: or, if u really wanted, i can make u b united with ur son again
Stranger: *pulls away* United? *looks down* Thats not possible.
You: it is, i mean, its not pretty, but..
Stranger: James...Is dead...My ex-husband killed him...then..*sighs and closes eyes* took his own life. Thats why Its not possible...*turns away*
You: there are 2 options
You: either u die, to b with them...or we get a ougia board and tlk to them\
You: ouji**
You: or u move on, and never b with again..
Stranger: *groans and grabs coat*
You: wait, where r u going/>'
Stranger: I'm Taking my Break, sir *starts to walk out door but heel breaks; screams* DAMMIT *falls over*
You: j-just go home, uv had a bad day *help u up*
You: ill pay u for the rest of ur time today
Stranger: *sighs and whispers* thanks, sir. *takes off heels and starts to walk out door*
You: good bye
Stranger: Bye, *flips you off then skips into the rain only to be hit by a bus*
Stranger: A man eating bus.
You: lmfao, oh shit what did i do?
You: well, at least shes not a man
Stranger: *screams* AARRRGGHH THE FUCKING BUS IS EATIN MY ORGANS!!!! 1!
Stranger: (LOL)
You: welll, ummmm, shes in a better place now
You: *closes the door*
Stranger: *Screams so loud, it can be heard from space* SHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
You: *coughs and sits back as desk*
Stranger: *ROLLS IN OWN BLOOD* ggaaarrgglleeeeeeeeeeeeegargalagagagagagaaallllll
Stranger: *Screams* HELP ME DAMMIT!
today was a good day
and i have nothing to complain about
so here is an epic conversation i had with some one one omegle.com
you know, the place u talk to strangers
im you, and stranger is well, a stranger
=D
enjoy!
Stranger: You missed a call while you were in that meeting, sir
You: oh my!\
You: im sorry! who was it?
Stranger: It was your son, sir...
You: MY SON!!! by god! i thought he died 4 years ago!1
You: what did he say?
Stranger: No, he..he's uh..out of prison.
You: prison? for what?
You: what did he do that my wife tld me he was dead!??!
Stranger: Armed robbery, i guess...
You: u guess! i dnt pay u to guess! i pay u to know!
Stranger: Well, thats what he told me..he didnt sound to sure himself when he told me...who knows could of been anything!
You: well get him back on the phone davison!
Stranger: Yes, sir..*brushes dirt off skirt and starts to walk away*
You: and take of that skirt!
You: ur a man for crying out loud!
Stranger: *stops and slowly turns* s-sir? you thought i was a man? I HAVE BOOBS! AND I MISSED TWO DAYS OF WORK BECUASE I WENT INTO LABOR!
You: non sense!
You: now get my son on the phone!
You: or ur fired damnit!
Stranger: DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT?? YOU ALMOST FAINTED! IT WAS DURING THE CHRISTMAS PARTY! *stops* Fine..fine i don't care anymore...
Stranger: *goes to the phone and picks it up*
Stranger: *starts dialing*
You: any day now!
Stranger: *few moments later hangs up* No answer.
You: try again!
Stranger: *sighs and dials phone again*
You: ur not leaving this office till u reach him!
You: and not breaks either!
Stranger: *on phone* M-max? Hi, i work for your father...He wants to speak with you..uh huh..ok *hands you phone* Here.
You: hello!!! son!!!! i-is it really u!!???!?!?!
Stranger: *sits in chair, crosses legs and arms*
You: ummm, h-hello?
You: wats wrong???
You: wait, where?
Stranger: *looks at you and raises eyebrow*
You: how, i dnt understand
You: what do u mean!
You: b-but
You: oh, okay, sorry for bothering u
You: *hangs up phone*
You: WAS THAT SOME SICK JOKES!
You: JOKE**!
Stranger: Pardon me?
Stranger: *stands up*
You: that wasnt my son
Stranger: He's the one who called and claimed to be your son, sir!
You: no, he said he never called
Stranger: He could be Lying!
You: and that his father has been dead for 6years now
You: and y wld my sone lie to me!
You: son*
Stranger: *yells* Who Knows?
You: u kno!
You: thats who know!
You: u did this!
You: u made it all up!!!!
You: y?>
You: y would u do this to me?
Stranger: WHY WOULD I MAKE IT UP?
You: because, u wanted to touch an emotion
You: that i dnt show
You: because i though u were a man
You: u wanted to get revenge on me
You: ur a sick sick person!
Stranger: *Yells* DAMMIT! *hits wall and whispers* w-why would i do that..I-i know what its like to loose a son...
You: bull *beeeeeep*
Stranger: *reaches into skirt pocket and pulls out picture of a baby; throws it at you* This is him. His name was James.
Stranger: He's the reason i went into labor at the christmas party.
You: i dnt beleive it one bit!
You: u and- and ur lies!
You: trying to make me look like a fool!
You: how dare u!
Stranger: MY JACKASS HUSBAND LEFT ME WITH NOTHING, TOOK MY CHILD TOOK MY LOVE, MY LIFE
Stranger: AND ...
Stranger: AND KILLED IT ALL!
Stranger: *Starts crying and falls to the ground*
You: how cld he take ur life, ur alive!
You: damnit! stop making a scene!
Stranger: *whispers* Its an expression
Stranger: AND DO YOU THINK I CAN REALLY HELP IT?
You: just go home! take a break!
You: come back in a week!
Stranger: *shakes head* You disgust me.
You: ill give u a payed vacation!
You: just get out of here
You: u need to recover
You: be gone!
Stranger: *stands up* You are one sad...sad man...
You: wld u rather me fire u?
You: i dnt kno what else to do!
You: im not weak like u! i get back up and deal with it
You: *helps u up*
Stranger: *sighs* i-i honestly don't care anymore,
You: im sorry
You: how can i help
Stranger: *pushes you away from me* You can't help. No one can.
You: *grabs u by the arm* are u sure? do u need a thearapist? a-a raise? what?!
Stranger: *closes eyes* Nothing.
You: please
You: let me help u
You: please
Stranger: *turns and looks at you* what the hell do you think can help me?
You: i can help give u another son
Stranger: *eyes widen*
You: u kno
Stranger: *jaw drops* S-sir...I-i..uh..
You: just say yes
You: we will fill out the papers
You: and u can have ur son
Stranger: *looks down* you don't get it.
You: what do u mean?
Stranger: It won't be the same...James is gone...I Loved james, I almost dies for him...and know...hes just gone.
Stranger: *died
You: but im offering u another chance
Stranger: *now
Stranger: *looks up* what do you mean?
You: another chance, another son
Stranger: Adoption?
You: yes, un-unless u were thinking of something else..
Stranger: No...I wasnt...*looks away*
You: oh okay then
You: so, do u want to fill out the papers?
You: or, if u really wanted, i can make u b united with ur son again
Stranger: *pulls away* United? *looks down* Thats not possible.
You: it is, i mean, its not pretty, but..
Stranger: James...Is dead...My ex-husband killed him...then..*sighs and closes eyes* took his own life. Thats why Its not possible...*turns away*
You: there are 2 options
You: either u die, to b with them...or we get a ougia board and tlk to them\
You: ouji**
You: or u move on, and never b with again..
Stranger: *groans and grabs coat*
You: wait, where r u going/>'
Stranger: I'm Taking my Break, sir *starts to walk out door but heel breaks; screams* DAMMIT *falls over*
You: j-just go home, uv had a bad day *help u up*
You: ill pay u for the rest of ur time today
Stranger: *sighs and whispers* thanks, sir. *takes off heels and starts to walk out door*
You: good bye
Stranger: Bye, *flips you off then skips into the rain only to be hit by a bus*
Stranger: A man eating bus.
You: lmfao, oh shit what did i do?
You: well, at least shes not a man
Stranger: *screams* AARRRGGHH THE FUCKING BUS IS EATIN MY ORGANS!!!! 1!
Stranger: (LOL)
You: welll, ummmm, shes in a better place now
You: *closes the door*
Stranger: *Screams so loud, it can be heard from space* SHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
You: *coughs and sits back as desk*
Stranger: *ROLLS IN OWN BLOOD* ggaaarrgglleeeeeeeeeeeeegargalagagagagagaaallllll
Stranger: *Screams* HELP ME DAMMIT!
love hate relaionship with AP
so i found 2 colleges that were in AP magazine that i fell in love with
they have everything i need, want, and more for me going into the music industry!!!
thats the love
the hate is that they are located in 2 of my least favourite states
orlando fl
and new york, ny
i almost wanna cry
i HATE those states with almost ever ounce of everything in me
now here r the facts
i either suck it up and go [most likely]
i go to different colleges
or i dnt go into the music indusrty
but gawd, iv wanted to go to iar [ny] for that past year in a half or 2 years
i cant just ditch that now
and full sail [fl] has sooooo many amazing guests that help there
people that worked with nirvana, pearl jam, NIN, rolling stones, jay-z
its just too good to pass up
i mean, there are onl line courses, but i cant do that
id get distracted to eaisly
but yes, i think im gonna go to them
and yes, both of them
i know, i know, iknow
it will fucking kill me
but the way i see it
if i goto 2 schools that basically are meant for wat i wanna do
and im gonna b working with ppl that put big bands where they are
and "creating real world relationships" with these people
why, no, how could i pass it up
i mean, im only at my internship because there is a recording studio there
because i may get a chance to learn how to use it!
its not definite
i may never touch ne of that amazing equipment
but just the thought of it amazes me
like wed, i was soooo fucking happy that i go to carry all that stuff
i mean, i had no idea wat almost any of it did
or how to set it up
but i wanted to learn
and i know the moment i wlked into that studio i was like a kid in a candy shop each time
gawd
then there is ringold
saying i cnt do it
blah blah blah
fuck him
and the next time he says i cant
im gonna tell him to fuck off, because i can achieve anything if i want it enough
and my god, i want to do this enought
they have everything i need, want, and more for me going into the music industry!!!
thats the love
the hate is that they are located in 2 of my least favourite states
orlando fl
and new york, ny
i almost wanna cry
i HATE those states with almost ever ounce of everything in me
now here r the facts
i either suck it up and go [most likely]
i go to different colleges
or i dnt go into the music indusrty
but gawd, iv wanted to go to iar [ny] for that past year in a half or 2 years
i cant just ditch that now
and full sail [fl] has sooooo many amazing guests that help there
people that worked with nirvana, pearl jam, NIN, rolling stones, jay-z
its just too good to pass up
i mean, there are onl line courses, but i cant do that
id get distracted to eaisly
but yes, i think im gonna go to them
and yes, both of them
i know, i know, iknow
it will fucking kill me
but the way i see it
if i goto 2 schools that basically are meant for wat i wanna do
and im gonna b working with ppl that put big bands where they are
and "creating real world relationships" with these people
why, no, how could i pass it up
i mean, im only at my internship because there is a recording studio there
because i may get a chance to learn how to use it!
its not definite
i may never touch ne of that amazing equipment
but just the thought of it amazes me
like wed, i was soooo fucking happy that i go to carry all that stuff
i mean, i had no idea wat almost any of it did
or how to set it up
but i wanted to learn
and i know the moment i wlked into that studio i was like a kid in a candy shop each time
gawd
then there is ringold
saying i cnt do it
blah blah blah
fuck him
and the next time he says i cant
im gonna tell him to fuck off, because i can achieve anything if i want it enough
and my god, i want to do this enought
1/8/10
nothing to do...
snow day!
yay!
i watched all my subscribed videos
and didnt know what to listen to
so i types in ronnie rakde
and found his LA in episode xD
and watched it
it was fucking hilarious
i also watched him pwn himself in the face with a microphone
it was cute xD
watching craig get his teeth knocked out by a blessthefall guitarist was funnier tho
ummmmmmmm,
tomorrow the movies
with people of coolness
then sunday shopping for a dress x_x
i hate shopping, and i hate dresses
but me and maranda are gonna go to the snowball xD
so i kinda have too
i want a bright ass green dress, so i dnt have to buy new shoes!
or ill just wear my converse
xD bahahaha
that would b funny xD
ummmmmm, snowball is friday
and im probably gonna end up sleeping over marandas
sooooo, i need to kinda cancel plans i had for that weekend...
blah
when school starts everything seems so hectic
x_x
buuuuut, hell, better than constancly being bored i guess
sammy hammy hasnt tlked to me about my grad project yet
and monday i need to start my internship journal
uggg
x_x
i still need to so some missed class work, and i guess do some math homework
cuz i dnt want my first grades of the year to b E's
that sucks balls, and happens ALOT!!!
bah hum bug
ummmmmmm
yea, idk
im gonna go listen to music
and end up watching something with emo's just by clicking on stuff
that happenes alot
once i was watching suicide notes, fake suicides, and people almost dying
idr wat i clicked on
haha
ummmm, ill start watching a fluffy bunny
and c where i am in like an hr or so, just by clicking on stuff
bahaha, ill have to do that one day
xD
ummmmmm, yea
blah!
kfjhsdfkjshdfkshfksjdjfdskjfds
im having funn typing, and i dont wanna stop
soooo, i think i will so that i can listen to music
and watch ronnie <3
cuz he is a sex beast
and hilarious
i think imma write him a letter and mail it to him in jail
and tell him about my cup cakes
and send him a pic
then tell him how me and my friends want to start an escape the fate tribute band with only singers
so its not really a band
its more of a ronnie tribute xD
not like a band, haha...yea
ayds
yay!
i watched all my subscribed videos
and didnt know what to listen to
so i types in ronnie rakde
and found his LA in episode xD
and watched it
it was fucking hilarious
i also watched him pwn himself in the face with a microphone
it was cute xD
watching craig get his teeth knocked out by a blessthefall guitarist was funnier tho
ummmmmmmm,
tomorrow the movies
with people of coolness
then sunday shopping for a dress x_x
i hate shopping, and i hate dresses
but me and maranda are gonna go to the snowball xD
so i kinda have too
i want a bright ass green dress, so i dnt have to buy new shoes!
or ill just wear my converse
xD bahahaha
that would b funny xD
ummmmmm, snowball is friday
and im probably gonna end up sleeping over marandas
sooooo, i need to kinda cancel plans i had for that weekend...
blah
when school starts everything seems so hectic
x_x
buuuuut, hell, better than constancly being bored i guess
sammy hammy hasnt tlked to me about my grad project yet
and monday i need to start my internship journal
uggg
x_x
i still need to so some missed class work, and i guess do some math homework
cuz i dnt want my first grades of the year to b E's
that sucks balls, and happens ALOT!!!
bah hum bug
ummmmmmm
yea, idk
im gonna go listen to music
and end up watching something with emo's just by clicking on stuff
that happenes alot
once i was watching suicide notes, fake suicides, and people almost dying
idr wat i clicked on
haha
ummmm, ill start watching a fluffy bunny
and c where i am in like an hr or so, just by clicking on stuff
bahaha, ill have to do that one day
xD
ummmmmm, yea
blah!
kfjhsdfkjshdfkshfksjdjfdskjfds
im having funn typing, and i dont wanna stop
soooo, i think i will so that i can listen to music
and watch ronnie <3
cuz he is a sex beast
and hilarious
i think imma write him a letter and mail it to him in jail
and tell him about my cup cakes
and send him a pic
then tell him how me and my friends want to start an escape the fate tribute band with only singers
so its not really a band
its more of a ronnie tribute xD
not like a band, haha...yea
ayds
1/7/10
you lie to me, lie to me, LIE!
you are so beautiful, you are the kind of girl that has the chemicals, that make me fall in love!
fuck you craig mabbit!!
that is an amazing song tho!
haha
but ronnie is better!!
anywhoooo, i need to do a POW and take science notes that are due tomorrow
and honors math homework thats due the next friday, fml
x_x
school has barley started and im already basically failing
and righ now i feel like a retard because i keep thinking that there is someone behind me so i look and switch my tabs
there is a wall behind me
x_x
im soooo smart
my word is freezing x_x
fml
my arm kinda hurts from being my internship dudes bitch x_x
bahahahaha
im gonna keep this going till cult lit is done
xD
soooo, yea
i just put this in my history notes:: “grrrrrr! Im going to kill you!!!! Muhahahaha!!!”
there is a goo reason
we r looking at a mural, and it was part of my answer
explain what i saw
now we r tlking about jesus wlking around our school
x_x
i missed something!
bahaha
and now my teacher is tlking about something christians and jew beleive in
and i was like "WE DOO!??!!?!?!?!?" and ppl looked at me like i was retarted xD
bahahaha
blah
i think imma go play games
and tlk on g-mail
peace loves :)
fuck you craig mabbit!!
that is an amazing song tho!
haha
but ronnie is better!!
anywhoooo, i need to do a POW and take science notes that are due tomorrow
and honors math homework thats due the next friday, fml
x_x
school has barley started and im already basically failing
and righ now i feel like a retard because i keep thinking that there is someone behind me so i look and switch my tabs
there is a wall behind me
x_x
im soooo smart
my word is freezing x_x
fml
my arm kinda hurts from being my internship dudes bitch x_x
bahahahaha
im gonna keep this going till cult lit is done
xD
soooo, yea
i just put this in my history notes:: “grrrrrr! Im going to kill you!!!! Muhahahaha!!!”
there is a goo reason
we r looking at a mural, and it was part of my answer
explain what i saw
now we r tlking about jesus wlking around our school
x_x
i missed something!
bahaha
and now my teacher is tlking about something christians and jew beleive in
and i was like "WE DOO!??!!?!?!?!?" and ppl looked at me like i was retarted xD
bahahaha
blah
i think imma go play games
and tlk on g-mail
peace loves :)
1/6/10
R.I.P Rev<3
it kills me to know that i hurt you
i want to make explain this as much as possiable
but there is no other way to do so
i would just keep repeating the same thing over and over again
i know you try to helo, but somethings can't be erased, or forgotten
and please dont feel like its you fault that you cant
---------------------
im sooo sleepy
and need to get a shit load of work done
x_x
i gots new boots!
and hanged out with some one today
and maybe will hang out with more ppl tomorrow
then iz going to the movies friday
=D yay for a good week
well, if it goes that way
ummmmmm
i am people bitch at my internship
x_x
and im dead fucking tired
x_x
gawd, if we go to the theater, not only will i get sick of theaters
i will b passing the fuck out!!!
x_x
i want to make explain this as much as possiable
but there is no other way to do so
i would just keep repeating the same thing over and over again
i know you try to helo, but somethings can't be erased, or forgotten
and please dont feel like its you fault that you cant
---------------------
im sooo sleepy
and need to get a shit load of work done
x_x
i gots new boots!
and hanged out with some one today
and maybe will hang out with more ppl tomorrow
then iz going to the movies friday
=D yay for a good week
well, if it goes that way
ummmmmm
i am people bitch at my internship
x_x
and im dead fucking tired
x_x
gawd, if we go to the theater, not only will i get sick of theaters
i will b passing the fuck out!!!
x_x
1/5/10
how is it..
that one can feel like a prisoner in their own body
so lost, and abandoned by themself
how is it that you can be afraid to live, and afraid to die
"sometimes i don't know why we rather live than die" [a7x]
questions there will never be a REAL answer to
whats the point of living?
people think they have THE answer, when in reality it's all an opinion
but then again, isn't everything an opinion?
what do we know what is real, or fake
who is there to say there is one
hell, who is there to say that this post even exists, or even makes sense
what if banana meant hello, and seven meant my
what if the sentence: "hello, my good friend. how have u been?"
really means: "banana, seven hot brown. sex white save align?"
did you ever get that cold, chilling feeling
in your whole body
then it all gets numb
like ur shivering
but your not
its just a short time where u space out
it resets your mind
as you stop breathing for an instance
gawd, that is an, astonishing feeling
i imagine it as death
just the quick glimse of my life
and hell, yours and everyone elses
-------------------------------------------
sorry for the 3 posts in one day
but hell, ur use to it
not like ne one reads my stuff ne wayz..
so lost, and abandoned by themself
how is it that you can be afraid to live, and afraid to die
"sometimes i don't know why we rather live than die" [a7x]
questions there will never be a REAL answer to
whats the point of living?
people think they have THE answer, when in reality it's all an opinion
but then again, isn't everything an opinion?
what do we know what is real, or fake
who is there to say there is one
hell, who is there to say that this post even exists, or even makes sense
what if banana meant hello, and seven meant my
what if the sentence: "hello, my good friend. how have u been?"
really means: "banana, seven hot brown. sex white save align?"
did you ever get that cold, chilling feeling
in your whole body
then it all gets numb
like ur shivering
but your not
its just a short time where u space out
it resets your mind
as you stop breathing for an instance
gawd, that is an, astonishing feeling
i imagine it as death
just the quick glimse of my life
and hell, yours and everyone elses
did i ever tell you that i have to remind myself to breathe?
-------------------------------------------
sorry for the 3 posts in one day
but hell, ur use to it
not like ne one reads my stuff ne wayz..
yes, i am gonna post stuff about The I Drive
because they are an AH-fucking-MAZING band for here [pittsburgh]
and i know, i know, i know
i made you vote for them during the pac sun tour so they could be one of the bands the battled
and they were one of the 6 that made it! =D
and i went to that concert, in hopes they would win
and they did =D
then they played with saosin<3
sadly, i could not go to that concert, but i wanted to!!!
haha
sooo, guess what
there is another thing, where they can win THE GRAND PRIZE!!!!
and they deserve it!
they deserve to be another big time band from pittsburgh!
we gave the would Anti- Flag
and we need to give them The I Drive
so please, please, please, PLEASE vote for The I Drive
http://www.fuel.tv/pacsun
my god, id be so ecstatically happy if they one!!!
it would be so fucking amazing
i would be so happy i would burst into tears of EXTREME JOY!!!
come one people, please!
i dont think anyone can understand how happy i would be!
i mean, im practically crying [from joy] by just the thought of them winning!!!!!!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
so once again, go to
http://www.fuel.tv/pacsun
and vote for THE I DRIVE!!!!
<3<3
and i know, i know, i know
i made you vote for them during the pac sun tour so they could be one of the bands the battled
and they were one of the 6 that made it! =D
and i went to that concert, in hopes they would win
and they did =D
then they played with saosin<3
sadly, i could not go to that concert, but i wanted to!!!
haha
sooo, guess what
there is another thing, where they can win THE GRAND PRIZE!!!!
and they deserve it!
they deserve to be another big time band from pittsburgh!
we gave the would Anti- Flag
and we need to give them The I Drive
so please, please, please, PLEASE vote for The I Drive
http://www.fuel.tv/pacsun
my god, id be so ecstatically happy if they one!!!
it would be so fucking amazing
i would be so happy i would burst into tears of EXTREME JOY!!!
come one people, please!
i dont think anyone can understand how happy i would be!
i mean, im practically crying [from joy] by just the thought of them winning!!!!!!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
so once again, go to
http://www.fuel.tv/pacsun
and vote for THE I DRIVE!!!!
<3<3
back to school today
and im still in my wet school pants
x_x
but i dnt wanna change
it was decent
not extremly good, nor extremley bad
ummmm
yea
im just tired as fuck
so im probably gonna go to sleeeeeeeeeeep sooon!
haha
so yea, b ready to be annoyed by all of my posts
xD
x_x
but i dnt wanna change
it was decent
not extremly good, nor extremley bad
ummmm
yea
im just tired as fuck
so im probably gonna go to sleeeeeeeeeeep sooon!
haha
so yea, b ready to be annoyed by all of my posts
xD
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