“Only in death will we rise”

Holding on to stuff of the past

Little mess ups

Little mistakes

Things that don’t dramatically affect anything

Just sitting here making a lost pencil feel like an apocalypse

Not saying that’s what happened, because it didn’t

I get all upset by a simple phrase

A single person

A facial expression

The style someone writes

A song

And it’s all just so little

So insignificant

But means so much to me

“She means so little to so many, why does she mean everything to me?”

And some how

I manage to relate these little pointless interactions, with horrible things

You know, they things you can’t forget

The things you can’t un-see

The things you can’t undo

The words you can un-say

The actions you can’t take back

The wasted moments

Regretting things that you have no way of stopping

And constantly living with that regret

And sadness

And anger

And emptiness

Wishing you could of helped

Could of stopped it

Change things said

Actions done

Re-live your life

With that little rewind button

Go back, and do over

Go back, and be happy

Delete to forget

Stop, to numb the pain

And stop the tears

Take away the fear

I hate that

I hate how I get so off topic

And how I can stat by thinking about how amazing my day was

Then a few hrs of thought, it turns into enraged sadness

And I don’t know what to do with myself

I hate being around people when I’m like this

Or when I’m anything BUT happy

Because I don’t like to be seen that way

Or thought of that way

Or bring people to my level

That’s one of the things that scare me the most

Someone completely understanding me

Some one that can read me like a book

Some one that is like, in my mind, or brain

Some one that knows me more than I thought it would ever be possible to know myself

I try my hardest to live up to my own standards

I try to be ‘perfect’ as I think it would be portrayed for me

I hate that word, perfect, I need another list…

But, my image, I try and perfect

But it doesn’t

My personality, nowhere near close

Gawd, I’d even go as far as saying I want to get rid of some of my friends and find new ones to create the perfect me

It’s stupid

Immature

Selfish

But I don’t know, I want it, sadly, kind of..

“A poetic tragedy falls upon your doorstep as you wake. Confide in your friends and family to wash this pain away. Goodbyes are inevitable but I will see you again and never forget the simple fact that I will always love you. Did I do you proud?”

Quoting songs are funn

Bringing me joy

And I world of sorrow

Can you fucking say emo bitch much?

Gawd this kills me

Afraid to let go

Afraid to hold on

Afraid to just be

Nothing more, nothing less

Average

If it can even be compared to that

What is average?

Who says it is what it is

Who makes right and wrong

Who give a fuck?

It’s all bullshit

No one fucking cares

Just give up and give in and quit already, damn it!

This makes me think of the silhouettes

That post, I wrote

A while back

That was something

Not good, nor bad

Just something

Because now, noting can just be

It has to be more or less

Better or worse

WHY CAN’T IT BE!

Just let it the fuck be!

Please

Release the grip you have to tightly around my neck

Let me fall to the depths of you deepest hell

Relax my body

Evict my air

I could probably go on

But I don’t know, I should of stopped a while back

But I had more to say

Just twisting my words so they form something new