why do people want to be famous?

because i can only find songs about how much they hate it
who actually wants to be a role model?
who wants their every move logged?
who wants to fear leaving their house?
who wants to loose their freedom?

sure, usa is called the land of the free
but we all know its not
if it were truley the land of they free we would have anarchy
and i mean
yea
we are better than like mexico or where ever
we can speak up against our government
and we have choices that they dont

but the only way we could truely be "the land of the free" is with anarchy
but hell
with anarchy, we should just be called "that land that once was"

back to the famous thing
i have one goal in life
and for me it doesnt seem to complex
i want to have a wikipedia article
call it a shitty goal
but i want want
that is all i ask of
because if i have one
that means ill be known
for whatever it is

now, there are different famouses
ones like writers, where you are there, people care about u, but want try and fuck your life
actors/actress and musicians, more genre related [in my opinion] but your known, your can do almost w/e and no one cares because its expected, but in some cases, people are there, kiniving and trying to fuck u up
then there are people in government, you can get away with some stuff, but not anything to big, and some people with love/adore you, and other will hate you like all hell
then we have those random mis. people that just do something incredibly stupid/funny and they have there 5 mins of fame and there gone, but still remembered by a few
then, there are the bad, the hitlers and mansons of the world, the ones people tend to remembered the most, the ones that next to no one spends a sec of their time to find the good. or to relaize that they are the smart ones, they are the ones that should be running the goddamn fucking world if you actually want something productive done! the ones that plan, and kinive, and back stab until they reach their goal. the most remembered and most intelligent people are always remembered, but not for anything positive because over three fourths of the fuck headed ass lickers in the goddamn world can see or comprehend common sense
this shit isnt in a book
fuck the history books, they lie
and history is a myth, unless u witnessed it first hand you dont kno
nor should you beleive in it
i can put it into terms that people could understand
lets use rumors
the [semi] intelligent people are the ones that start them, so that they benefit themselves, then the three fourths of the world that listen and believe come into play and do their little part giving that person that started the power they wanted, and now deserve and the [semi] intelligent people do everything in their power to bring down the person that started it.

the reasoning for the [semi] is because either the person that starts it, or the person that brings them down is intelligent or semi intelligent
if the person that started it falls down, they were semi intelligent, and were brought down by and intelligent person
and if the person that starts it doesnt fall they were the intelligent person that defeated the semi intelligent person

and none of that made sense to you i bet
ugg, i with i could meet someone that would completley understand the twisted and demented thoughts in my head

but, im not sure if, in return, would scare me
i mean, it would be so nice to connect with an individual on such a deep level or thought
i mean, i kind of did
but only to notice that we forgot to build a real bond
and after a bit we faded away to nearly nothing more that "hey!" "hi" *hug* "wats up?" "nm, u?" "bored" "that sucks" "yea" "kay, well bye" *hug* "bye"
which i guess i have worse bonds with other people
but maybe its the level of thought
that we have no need to communicate because we know what we r thinking

now i fell like im making myself sound like i think im the fucking lord
which isnt wat im getting at....

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idk, buts it seems like it has been harder for me to smile
well, yea
ill leave it at that
i cant thing about something and smile
but then again i never could
and i dnt understand how people can
nor do i grasp the concept of y the cry while remembering the past
well, yes i do, because their are certain things, like deaths, that can change, yet, depending on your relationship it makes sense

i cry when i think about happy things
because i may never experience them again

the way i see it, bed things are bound to happen, and the good may never be able to outweigh the bad

because i have had bad things happen, that i cannot find all the good things i can think of to wight it out
because its there
bound to float around in my head
untill something shuts it up
the only way i see fit
it to poison it
its the best way besides killing them
forgetting never helps..

idk
i could go on some more rants
or actually talk about something happening in my life
but i may just play some music
or txt ppl
or paint my nails
or not do hw so i can fail
idk
and right now i really dnt care
im way beyond the point in caring and every day, and every assignment i just keep getting farther and farther away from caring...
w/e
its not too late to go back to my old plan...