like kiss or kill..

http://pimptizzle.blogspot.com/2010/05/ummm.html
i<3 maranda
she makes sense
so, yea

but this made me think...

i remember one day in drama ringold was trying to get people that were doing dramatic adutions to cry
so he tld us to stand up
and tld us to close our eyes
then he said to remeber the sad things
like a death of someone close to u
or an argument u had that updet u
and stuff like that
then people started to cry
then he said rember good time u've had with people
and ur friends and family that u love and care about
and i cried

why? you may ask
why would i cry at the 'joyous' things and just 'brush off' the bad things
well, because i know that there are always going to be bad things ahead
and the bad things that happened are over and done with
and in the past
and good times are never guarenteed
and you have to make them for yourself
so i just thouhgt about how i may never get moments like that again

maybe its cuz im"emo"
so, maybe thats the thing
idk

maybe in just odd
and reverse

im sorry but i always take in the negative
i hold grudges over some things and not others
and it takes me a long time to do somethings
but others its like w/e its in the past
i think that the things closer to me leave faster
and the things that are just there kill me inside

like in 6th or 7th grade
we prayed a decade of the rossary each day or once a week with the 1st graders
my partner sat next to this kid andy
and sometimes id be with him there too
and one day he wasnt there
so i sat in his little chair
and little desk
after we prayed we found out he had died in his sleep the night before
and idk y, cuz i barley knew him, but i cried
:\
maybe some how the fact that i sat in his chair was wat what irratating me
and i wish i wldnt have
or maybe because i was cool with his bother from band, and i felt bad for him
idk wat it was
but it still upsets me
for the longest time i couldnt even deal with hearing his last name
a common last name too
a band, a store, a bar/bee distributer
ugg, it killed me and i almost cried each time i heard it
her was adorable too
and his brother was pretty cool
but how does a 4th grader deal with his little like 7 year old brother dieing?
idk
thats just one of those things i cant forget


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btw, ignore the spelling
i typed this in word pad
and didnt feel like spell checking ne thing
bahaha