i totally just skipped over boom boom boom boom
ugg
im still out of it from walking in that church
like, its not even funny
the second i stepped over the threshold
i got dizzy
then it got hard to breath,
something that commonly happens around spirits
and then i started hurting
like my wrists, my whole right arm, right knee and lower leg, the back of my neck, and i got a throbbing headache, and got weak in the knees
gawd, i have no idea whats wrong to me
then wen i left things slowly started hurting
except my head
it also took a good 5 mins before i could freely breath
and just remembering makes me feel like some one on behind me
with their hands around my neck
chocking me
and then when i got home my stomach was killing me
but suffocation is the only way i DONT want to die
i would rather be burned alive,
and i heard that is the most painful way to die
i wonder if this means im claustrophobic, but i dont think so
because i dnt mind small spaces
as long as im alone
it makes me feel safe
hence why when im all emotionally unstable and breaking dwn in tears at night i curl up in a ball and squeeze myself into a corner
i feel safe then
like no one can hurt me
like no one can touch me unexpectingly
but 'things' still can
so okay, i guess i am kind of afraid of 'spirts'
like i dont believe in them
and as soon as i was typing believe
the chocking feeling happened again
hence my point
i think a reason i dont want to die that way
and always feel that wasy is because of...
never mind
i've already said way more than i expected to...
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